Little fun fact about yours truly – I changed my name in high school from Tiffany to Tifani.
It all started as a joke but since I was the new kid in school people believed it. So for like TWO YEARS at least my name was Tifani. A few teachers and one boyfriend never knew my name was actually Tiffany.
It cracks me up every time I think about it. I’m sure people were devastated to find out I made the whole thing up. (ha hahahaha ha ha ha)
This week I’ve been reconnected with a friend from HS and she reminded me about how I changed my name because people I was friends with in that day and age will always remember me as Tifani which is just hysterical.
So I posted as a joke on Facebook this status …
And my mom replied and I struck back.
Then my phone blew up with questions like “WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?! IS IT SHAQUISHA?!” because if you know my mother you know she would love that name.
Or if you know my sisters and their names then you know she would love Shaquisha….
(Brownie points to Katherine who texted me and asked if it was LaShea …. I laughed so hard because my sister’s middle name is Shea. haha!)
So I thought I would fill everyone in on the trauma I have been through via my middle name. WARNING: There will be a lot of YELLING in this post.
My entire life I have spelled my middle name the same way. I have all my old books as a child and they all say the same thing in my grade school handwriting:
Clearly I learned to spell it that way if I was writing it as a child.
Fast forward to my senior year of high school. My mother wrote my name for something that had to do with graduation and she wrote it:
You can imagine my confusion seeing as MY ENTIRE LIFE IT WAS NOT SPELLED THAT WAY.
I start asking all of the questions because someone had to have taught me how to spell my name, right!?
Usually that person is YOUR MOTHER.
It was all just so confusing. She was confused because she had NO IDEA I spelled it Alyson after 17 YEARS HAVING A DAUGHTER WHO SPELLED IT THAT WAY HER WHOLE LIFE.
We then decide to be reasonable and get out the birth certificate.
And guess what? It had my name as:
Let me demonstrate what my brain was doing at this point:
I AM SO CONFUSED ABOUT LIFE HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN MY MOTHER DOESN’T REALLY LOVE ME SHE CAN’T POSSIBLY SINCE SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW MY NAME THIS IS LUDICROUS I AM DEVASTATED LIFE IS OVER
How does this even happen, y’all? Only in my life. ONLY IN MY LIFE.
This is probably what is wrong with me. I have identity crisis problems stemmed from my childhood. MOTHER, YOU ARE GETTING MY THERAPY BILL.
So there you have it. You now know why I am as crazy as I am…. it is all because of my childhood and my mother who doesn’t even know my name.