I feel like I’m really struggling these days with “blog material”.
The kids are doing great- they actually slept for two weeks straight without hardly a peep. It was blissful. Then this week happened and well, there has been about zero sleep. So- everything is as per usual.
Ryder is having some tummy issues- just stomach pain and cramps- and I can’t figure out what is going on there. It is such a struggle. She gets no dairy so I know it isn’t that. Now I’m trying to figure out if it is a gluten thing or what.
Rory’s sleeping was getting SO GOOD. Seriously, she was sleeping all night in her bed by herself and not moving until six. This went on for 2-3 weeks or so. It was so amazing. Well, now all of a sudden she’s waking up all night again and getting in our bed and waking Ryder up and blah blah blah… I’m just so sick of being consumed with sleeping issues. I hate it for her because when she doesn’t sleep her days are so hard for her. She just can’t handle anything… everything makes her sob or makes her mad and she has a harder time with self control with her attitude and with her anger.
Then there are my own issues going on.
I’m really struggling with loneliness right now. I guess the move has been much harder than I ever expected. I went from a life full of friends and playdates and feeling important to people and my church and just being known, to being unknown and not-so-important. I feel like I’m the same “me” as I was in Paris, but it isn’t translating well here. Does that even make sense? It has just been bringing up feelings of insecurity and self-doubt that just adds to the hardness of the new town situation.
I’m also, of course, struggling with the weight loss. It is, OF COURSE, not easy and not a fast going thing. It is so easy to get discouraged, especially when all these other things are going on, and I’m trying hard to just stay on track and push through the haze of the struggles.
So, that’s where I am right now. It isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always full of humor. Sometimes life is just a struggle.
And through the struggle, I am so glad I have God’s word to keep me encouraged, because without the promises there, I would feel hopeless and unable to keep going through the petty struggles of every day.
So thankful for His grace that pours over my sinful, petty, self-involved self.