hilarious adventures

the pageant.

You will be happy to know that I survived the pageant and the pageant moms!

Now, I will say that the pageant was much more tame that I thought it would be. I can’t decide if I’m happy or severely disappointed in this.

But I’m pretty sure I’m leaning towards the severely disappointed.

Here we are, all pageant ready… aka “fashion diva judges”.

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When we got there we were taken to a back room in the school or a “holding room”. Pretty big deal. Can’t let anyone see you until pageant time, of course.

We got all our comment and score sheets ready while we were in there, because duh, we are professionals.

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Then we were told it was time and were taken out by the sweetest little girl.

And MAN, if you would’ve seen the stares when we walked into that gymnasium. Woowee. It made me shiver.

They introduced us and I may or may not have been described as a “professional blogger and full time mom”.

Feel free to laugh.

But really I should’ve been described as janitor, maid, boo boo healer, magician, wanna be writer, and Gilmore girl fanatic.

Next time I will go for that.

Here is a shot I snuck of the stage and our table.

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Unfortunately that is the last picture I got because I knew it wasn’t appropriate to take pictures of the precious, trained children.

Now y’all will be shocked to know that I kept it together until the very last two categories.

But I would like to note that a 6 wk old baby has dreams of opening up her own boutique one day.

*wink kiss wink*

Also, one of the junior miss girls says she aspires to be the first ever female winner of the Daytona 500.

*wink wink kiss kiss wink wink*

Some of the categories were seriously hard to come up with a winner. And I felt terrible for the people who didn’t get the #1 spot.

Like, seriously, I felt awful. All I could think about was the fact that they might go home saying they weren’t good enough. I really wanted to stay to the end and give each of the non-winners a hug.

Now, there was one girl in particular that stood out and she was the one that made me crack my good demeanor.

Let’s call her Belle, because she had dark hair and a yellow dress.

When they did the “grand parade” at the beginning to give us a “sneak peek” of the girls in this category, she came out and I immediately knew she would be our winner.

Of course, that all depended on how well she did individually, but I just knew by the way she walked and looked that she was going to nail it.

Well, it came time for her individual walk around (no idea the proper term for this ha), and that girl never took her eyes off us.

Like ever.

I honestly felt a little bit like I was being stalked with her eyes. As in, I felt as though she was looking through my clothes and could see me naked or something.

It was the strangest, lot a bit creepiest thing ever.

She still won because she was pretty much what you would call absolutely perfect, but STILL. Good heavens, she VIOLATED ME with her eyes.

Next time you see me in person I will give a demonstration, ok? Don’t forget to ask. I’m pretty much amazing at it.

Then there was a girl we will call “the grinch” or “Reba McEntire”. I’ll just let your imaginations go wild with that one.

So by those two very last categories I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I cracked.

And I cracked and I cracked.

I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I tried so hard. SO HARD. But dang if that girl didn’t violate me with her eyes and then dang if that girl didn’t look like the grinch.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! I’M NOT PERFECT! I CAN’T HANDLE THE NO LAUGHING PRESSURE!

We tried to cover it up, but I honestly thought I’d pee my pants from laughing/trying to hold in the laughter.

I do have two small children, you can’t blame me for having bladder issues.

Anyways.

It was a fun day and honestly I’d love to do it again, except it wouldn’t be pretty. I’d definitely have to wear an adult diaper.

Although, I did hear recently you can go to school to become a true professional pageant judge.

WHY DIDN’T I MAJOR IN THAT IN COLLEGE?!

I feel like my life is a failure for not knowing this.

So there you have it.

Pageant Judge is now checked off the bucket list.

Win!

Have a great week!

(PS- this is what happens when I blog and it isn’t nap time. Sigh.)

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1 thought on “the pageant.

  1. Aww, bless your poor violated heart! Now, I know you secretly took pics, text them to me! 😉 JK! Next time they ask you, tell them you have the perfect guest judge, and I’ll come help! Now, that’d be a sight. I’d get thrown out! Lol!!!

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