hilarious adventures, Travel

the big 3-0 and a weekend at Dollywood

Well hello there. I assume I have lost all faithful readers including my mom at this point because who likes a “blogger” who doesn’t blog?

I don’t either.

But I do have a good excuse, or 47 actually. My laptop is having issues and is being quite moody. The desktop was acting funky too. So instead of being angry at either, I choose to pretend none of it was happening or that I didn’t have a blog at all.

Unfortunately for all of you, ha, I can’t quit the blog. I JUST CAN’T. I have too much to say and too few friends to talk to. Also, have you met my beloved husband? Not really someone who likes to talk…. and that is the understatement of the century.


I have no idea why I went off on that whole tangent. But I did and I don’t have the energy to erase it so I apologize.

Andy fixed the office up for me to be able to type all my words and I’m choosing to ignore his hasty approach that confirms his need for me to stop talking to him and start talking to you all.


Let’s pull the bandaid off and talk about the elephant in the room.

I turned 30.

Last Tuesday was the big dirty thirty birthday. The girls and I spent the day at the pool and doing a little shopping. It really was a fun day. BUT SO LONELY because Andy was working. That night I took the girls to VBS and Andy got off in time to eat dinner which was a miracle.

I mean. When you get to be my age….. your birthday is just a day. IT IS SO SAD but so true.

003One thing I decided was that you know what…. I could look worse at 30. I could definitely look much better (ha) but IT COULD BE WORSE.

You should know that one of my best friends, Erin, wins the birthday award. She sent happy birthday texts all day. These are some of my faves.

010She knows the way to my heart. There is nothing I love more than a funny ecard or meme.

The best thing about last week was all the sleep I got.

No but seriously.

VBS. Verified Beautiful Sleep.

Er. I mean Vacation Bible School.

Rory went to our church in the morning and then at night they went to a friend’s church.

THEY LOVED IT AND SO DID I because OH THE SLEEP. Twice they took naps AND slept through the night.


It was blissful. The girls had so much fun and I did too.

130 070 011On Friday I got to have lunch with Erin as she passed through Chattanooga and my kids were CRAZY. Like I figured they would be but Rory was on another level. 141I decided to go ahead and make my planned trip to Sephora even though I was certain it would be torture.

Luckily for me, the children discovered the art of swatching makeup. And I’m sure everyone was being all judge-y and rolling their eyes but HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN TWO GIRLS TO SEPHORA BEFORE!? The staff all raved about how sweet and cute the girls were (tricky kids) and I got to shop for a minute without worrying. (Side note: The girls adored the Too Faced Contour Palette and therefore it’ll be my next makeup purchase. Also they loved their blush.)

164For my birthday, Andy got me family season passes to Dollywood and Splash Country. Saturday morning we woke up and headed to Pigeon Forge to conquer both parks!

Except then a weird thing happened…….

We were standing in line to one of the rides and Andy and I were talking about how much fun we were having and how good the girls were being when all of a sudden he says, “let’s just get a hotel and stay here and do the waterpark tomorrow.”


Andrew does not do spontaneous. It isn’t in his nature.

This is why we make the perfect couple. I do spontaneous 98% of the time. It is how I function. We balance each other perfectly. Without him I would have no stability, without me he would have less fun.

So he booked a hotel and it was settled. We were throwing caution to the wind and staying the night.

And then it hit me. Never in a million years did I think we would make it to this stage in life where that is even an option. I mean. I had a baby and then had a baby. Meaning I had two babies at once on very different schedules and milestones. I had two in diapers. I had two that DID NOT SLEEP – FOR THE LOVE. 

Suddenly I felt like I had been transported into a space of time that I never thought possible. No diapers. No bottles. No need for 2309230239230923092309230923032902939230923092320390293029302930923029309230920392390294302842048029402930912309103298203904 baby items for an overnight trip.


So we stayed at Dollywood and rode every ride we could manage. Rory and I loved hitting up the rides together. It is so fun when your kids start to be able to ride more than kiddie rides. We did the log ride, a few roller coasters, etc, and had a blast together.

Ryder and I did some kiddie rides together too while Andy rode the ferris wheel.

Little fact- I don’t do ferris wheels. No. I cannot.

Here are some pictures in no particular order:

175 208


228 253 265 284 292 293 296We, of course, tried (and failed) to get a family picture in front of the DollyWood sign. So I got just the girls which is better anyway.


Being at Dollywood reminded me so much of my grandparents. Oh how I miss them. The hardest thing is knowing my kids won’t know them. I know my Granddaddy would have gotten a kick out of them and my Grandmother would have loved on them like she did all her grandkids. The little one in the middle was me. Rory’s twin. Telena is in the shades and Tasha is the one who refuses to smile. I’m guessing it was because her socks were rolled unevenly and the sun was glaring on the all white getup she had on.


So we get to the hotel at 8:30 (bedtime) and there are two things you should know – 1) we had not eaten dinner and 2) I was getting a migraine.

I go into the room to make sure it was okay and it was one of those times in life I will never forget going from the start of a migraine to wanting to puke my head hurt so bad in just one second. The room smelled so badly of smoke. I could not get out of it fast enough. Andy went in and felt the same. So at this point I have a full blown, gonna puke from pain migraine. And no dinner or hotel room. This was the point I started doubting our spontaneity.

We finally got the hotel thing figured out- shout out to Best Western in Sevierville, TN for going above and beyond to make up for their smokey room. They had no vacancy and called every hotel in town to find a room for us. After all of that, we headed to TGIFriday’s because it was the closest thing and I barely remember it because all I could do was repeat, “Do not throw up,” because of the migraine. I ended up going to the car and wrapping a beach towel around my head and putting earplugs in for about 10 minutes to dull the pain.

We went to Walmart to get me some pills (thank you lord for ExedrinPM) and underwear. Oh yes. I love spontaneous things but I gotta have some fresh underwear, okay? I’m classy like that.

It took almost the entire night but the migraine finally subsided and we were up and ready to hit Splash Mountain.

(Sorry if I’ve lost you on account of all those boring details. But seriously I don’t want to hassle with erasing it all.)

I had no expectations on the water park because I hadn’t heard much about it but y’all it was good! I only took one picture which I can’t deny might be the highlight of my photography career since I clearly captured something beautiful.336

That back tatt tho.

I’ve zoomed enough times that I feel I can professionally say that the lower tattoo (some call a tramp stamp, I call it 18 year old rebellion) is a whale tail.

Let us compare.



You’re welcome. Call me Detective Tizzy.

Rory took turns with Andy and I riding the big slides (the child has no fear and it is amazing). Ryder and I rode the lazy river at one point a total of 13 times consecutively. I was sore from the lazy river. Because FYI- there is no lazy in that river with a toddler.

We decided to leave around 3ish because we were all exhausted.

354This was before we even started the car to leave. Side note: toddler potty still ridin’ dirty in the minivan. And still the best decision of my life.

For those of you wondering:

If you live close enough to drive to Dollywood (Gatlinburg area) for a day or two- DO IT. My kids loved every second and I plan to take them back as many times as possible.

Now. Let me tell you the terrible thing that happens when you eat hotel faux eggs and go into the sun all day…….

Andrew was up the entire night yelling into the toilet.

I describe it that way because we all know that men do not simply throw up.

They shout into the toilet so that the entire world can hear.

I say this with all the love in my heart, by the way.

It is just humorous to me how loud it is when a man pukes.

He was completely fine and over it by noon.

Thank you, Lord.

So I will say this. While I love a good spontaneous decision, I feel as thought maybe next time we will plan instead because it ended up being half a hot mess. But we had such a good time and it was the perfect getaway for us after two weeks of chaos.

This week is going to be hot as heck so I shall spend my time in the pool with the kids and work on my mom tan.

“What is a mom tan”, you ask?

A mom tan is when the front half of you is much tanner than the back because

1) Who has time to lay out evenly?

2) Who has had a kid and enjoys laying butt up in the air?!

Happy Tuesday!





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