This past week I’ve been contemplating my mother’s day post and how I would approach it this year. Mother’s Day is so tricky. We definitely want to celebrate moms loud and proud, but the pain of infertility is at its height on this day too, so you always want to be sensitive to those suffering.
Here is what I know. Motherhood is the most beautiful, amazing, and hard thing I have ever done. As each year passes I appreciate it even more. I realize what a gift it is and how precious life is.
So today, I will tell you my very favorite things about being a mom.
First picture with Rory
First picture with Ryder
The snuggles. OH. THE SNUGGLES. I remember having Rory and it being just me and her all day every day of the week and I’m pretty sure all we did was snuggle. I remember just staring at her for hours and thinking IT COULD NOT POSSIBLY GET BETTER THAN THIS. And I was so right. There is something so magical about that time with your first baby in the first weeks and months. There is nothing like it. And now I’m five years in to the snuggling and still enjoy the more rare opportunities to get on the couch and all snuggle up.
The firsts. Every.single.first. gets you so excited. First time you hold them, first feeding, first poop (no joke… you have a baby you’ll be excited about a poop), first smile, first family outing, first giggle, first words, first time they eat baby food and solids, first crawl, first words, first steps, first boo boo, first birthday….. AND I DIDN’T EVEN COVER EVERYTHING. Every single time they do something for the first time is the most exciting thing of life! I felt that way with BOTH my girls. I enjoyed every single first so very much. The best part is that even though they aren’t as frequent as they are the first year, you always have firsts. Rory’s first day of Kindergarten is coming up soon! My niece, Jacy, will be 16 next month and my sister will experience the first time she drives off by herself. *sob* Firsts never end and I love that.
The humor. I thought I lived a humorous and fun life before kids. OH HOW I WAS WRONG. There is so much humor in motherhood. And let me just say- if you can’t find the humor in motherhood, you need to seek medical attention. Every single day, multiple times a day, I laugh until I cry (or pee my pants because let’s be real… I am a mother of two). From things my kids say, to getting crapped on at the doctor’s office, to potty training woes…. there is just never a day that is dull. Even when Ryder was so sick, there was still so much humor. Laughter has saved me from drowning in diapers and sicknesses and all the crazy that comes with having two little girls 15 months apart. The most important advice I have for moms is to keep the humor. Because you can either cry or laugh, and y’all know I’d rather be laughing at the crazy that comes with having kids.
The unconditional love. Some days with my girls are hard and ugly. But even when they deliberately disobey and do things that disappoint me- I love them just the same. It is so true that once you are a mom, you loved your kids no matter what. Mothers see beauty in their children and in their hearts even when they do the very worst things.
But you want to know what is more beautiful than loving your children unconditionally? Being loved unconditionally by your children.
Every single day I struggle with loving myself. It is something I have always struggled with. There are times that I just hate, HATE, hate the way I look. There are times that I don’t like my attitude. There are times I hate how I gave up on some dreams and ended up “just a stay at home mom”. There are times I want to run away.
But every single day, my precious girls remind me of just how important I am to them. They love me even when I don’t love myself. They look at me in my nightgown with their snot rubbed on it and tell me how beautiful I am. And when I dress up? “MOMMY!!!!! YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOM EVER! LOOK AT YOU! YOU ARE SO FANCY!” Who could feel ugly after all that?! They see me lose my temper. They see me frustrated. They forgive me and love me anyway. They want to be with me. They want to make me proud. They love me even though they see all my flaws. They see me for who I am and that is so dang scary- and they love me with their entire hearts anyway.
I always expected to love my children unconditionally, but man, I never expected the beauty of being loved unconditionally by them. This is, hands down, the best part of motherhood.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the beautiful moms in my life. Each of you have encouraged me and helped me to be a better mom. I love you all so very much.
And to my mother- I love you more than I could ever express. Thank you for teaching me the importance of laughter and grace in motherhood. You are the best example of both of those things. I’m so blessed to have you as my mother.