Obviously this isn’t our first rodeo with moving (in fact, it will be our 8th city) so I feel like in a lot of areas I’m bordering on “expert” or at least “extremely experienced”.
But today I had a huge kick in the gut when talking to my Rory.
She just all of a sudden spilled the beans today. She had so many questions and concerns about the move.
It was heartbreaking.
“Mom, why do we have to leave our beautiful house and beautiful yard and beautiful pool?Will our new house be like this one? Will it have a pool and lots of yard?”
“Mom, why do I have to leave my friends? I won’t ever get to see Lexie anymore. Lexie is my best friend and I need to see her. And then all my other friends! I love all my friends at school.”
“If we move we will live so far away from Gigi and Grandpa and Mimi and Papa. Will I ever see them? Will I be too far away to get to spend the night with them?”
I cried the whole time she asked. I just couldn’t help it.
There are so many situations where, as a mom, I keep my composure and don’t cry or show fear in front of my children even if I really want to. For example: at the dentist with Rory today- I smiled and looked in her eyes while she was afraid so that I could show her she was doing a great job and didn’t need to be afraid… or with Ryder at her doctor appointments, I put on a brave face so she doesn’t see fear and feed off of that. I want them to feel my energy of security and trust that God will take care.
Then there are times as a mom that you need to just show your kids (especially your girls) that it is okay to be sad. It is okay to have questions and concerns. It is okay to cry.
So today Rory and I had a good cry together. I told her that I hope she always asks me questions and I hope I always have answers. I told her that things will be different and new but that I promised to make it fun and beautiful no matter where we live.
We talked long and hard about how God had called us to move and opened this door and that we are obeying Him and He will bless us for our obedience. (No, we aren’t called into “THE” ministry, but our lives as Christians IS a ministry and each move we are called to brings great responsibility in that.)
Rory and I cuddled up together and talked for a good thirty minutes (which is an eternity in 4 year old world) about some changes we will be making and the process of everything. I made sure not to make any promises that I couldn’t keep.
I did promise that we would make new fun friends. I promised we would find a new fun church where she could worship and make great friends. I promised we would find a new fun school. I promised we would find somewhere to swim and go to the park. I promised we would still see grandparents often. I promised that she could help make our new house/apartment/who knows beautiful with me.
I promised her over and over that no matter where we live we are all going together- Mommy, Daddy, Ryder and Rory. And as long as we are all together it didn’t matter what our house looked like or where we lived, we would make a happy, fun, safe, and beautiful home together.
This part, having a child who is deeply affected by change, is definitely creating a new moving ballgame. It is so hard, but its a precious time of getting to share with her in a deeper way. I love that it gives me the opportunity to open my Bible and show the girls verses about God’s promises to us.
I would love so much to be able to keep them in a bubble where they can always be carefree and have no harm come their way, but that isn’t real life. So, instead, I want to teach them that through ANYTHING they can come to me and cry with me and tell me their fears, worries, problems, excitement, victories. And I hope that I teach them that they can go to God just as freely as they can come to me with anything they are going through and that He will always have the answers.