This week has partially flown by and drug on.

I’m not sure if it is a full moon or PMS settling in early on the girls or what but MERCY. Attitudes and fighting have been in full force this week and IT IS MAKING ME A LITTLE INSANE.

Or maybe the walls are closing in on us.

Yesterday I set Rory up to color and set Ryder up to play barbies and it was the most blissful hour we have had in a long while. Sometimes it seems we are just a little too close all.the.time.

You will be delighted to know that IT IS MAY which means IT IS THE MONTH THAT WE GET A HOUSE which means YOU ONLY HAVE 18 MORE DAYS TO HEAR ME COMPLAIN ABOUT THE APARTMENT.

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Makes me giggle every time.

Now, I know all of you are DYING to know more about me playing softball. Heh.

We have played really well this week- our spirits are way up after the first game playing the team who wouldn’t even attempt to swing a bat.

Last night we even *gasp* WON A GAME.

I’m gonna be honest, I was a little worried when we showed up last night as to how the games would go. Several people attempted to pitch and …. let us just say I almost peed my pants from laughing while watching the “practice”.

My friend, Amber- y’all know Amber…. she’s the only friend I talk about on here because until recently she’s been my ONLY friend, ha!- decided to attempt it and we were all like YESSSSSS because she was good! She had never pitched before last night and she was so good. I’m totally impressed. She’s not only crafty as heck, homeschools, and runs a travel agency… she can also pitch. SHE IS THE DEFINITION OF A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN.

(Amber is now rolling her eyes.)

Well, I was asked to catch which I thought, yeah I can do that- NBD. Like whatev! Of course I can. Pshhhhhh.

Y’all.

Catching with no protective gear is no joke. I have three large leg bruises to prove it.

But more so than that….. THE SQUATTING. I basically did squats non stop for an hour. Needless to say, I AM HURTING TODAY.

The second problem with catching is this…

I’ve got people I barely know and then people I do know like Amber’s dad and husband sitting behind home plate. Here are the thoughts running through my head.

1- I will channel Sir Mix-A-Lot when I say:

Oh, my, gosh. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. [scoff]
She looks like one of those rap guys’ girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those rap guys? [scoff]…

I mean, her butt, is just so big.
I can’t believe it’s just so round, it’s like, out there, I mean— gross. 

(Yes I realize I left out some of it…. 99% of you will know it by heart and not have to read anyway.)

2- Twerking.

You see the problem with having a big butt is no matter what you do, when you bend… it looks like you’re trying to twerk.

Stop laughing. I’m being serious here.

And the biggest problem with catching is that THE UMP IS ALL UP ON YOU LIKE WE ARE IN THE CLUB OR SOMETHING.

No kidding. Every time I bent over or got up to catch a ball I felt as though I was twerking on him.

IT WAS WEIRD.

I mean. Softball. Twerking. SAME THING BASICALLY.

So not only is catching physically hard- IT IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY EXHAUSTING.

It is pretty scary where my mind goes, isn’t it?

Aren’t you glad you aren’t me?

The girls are out of school today and I’ve had to stop writing this blog 2300 times because FOR THE LOVE THEY WON’T STOP FIGHTING.

I’m thinking of locking them in their room and letting them have at it while I sip some coffee.

Good parenting, right?

People say boys are rough…. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Girls not only fight like boys but there is also emotional and psychological warfare too.

“YOU’RE NEVER BEING MY BEST FRIEND AGAIN!”

“I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU PLAY ELSA ANYMORE!”

“YOU CAN’T WEAR MY TUTUS EVER AGAIN!”

I’m gonna need a xanax with this coffee if they don’t calm it down.

I have a fun interview today so send prayers that I can get a conversation in without being interrupted. We all know that a mother on the phone is like a moth to a flame. I’ll let you know how it goes and more details soon hopefully!

We have lots of really fun things going on this weekend and I can’t wait to spend some time out in the sun! Hopefully Rory will decide to play soccer instead of do a dramatic reenactment this weekend because she has some special people coming to surprise her at her game tomorrow!

Happy Weekend!

Related posts:

SUYL: Blog Friends
MIA and a photo dump.
Whole 30: Week 3

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