Well, people, I am here to tell you our latest saga at The Harris House.

Lice.fe921f2d0ebe55b9eb981e45c6028f36

That is right, folks, lice.

Rory came home one day in the last few weeks (not disclosing the day so y’all won’t assume you are getting it if you saw us in the last 2 weeks) with lice.

So when I discovered this you can imagine how PSYCHOTIC I went.

Let us just say on a scale from 0-10 on the crazy scale I was a solid EIGHT HUNDRED AND TWENTY SEVEN.

I contemplated burning my house down for a good 2 days.

Instead, I put on my big girl panties (emphasis on big) and started washing every.dang.piece.of.fabric. in this house.

I swear if someone would have come into my home they would have sworn I was on the crack because ENERGY WAS HIGH. I was scrubbing and washing and spraying.

But the washing was the easy part.

Let’s move on to treating Rory’s hair.

Have you ever tried to wash, then wash, and then wash again THEN comb through a feral cat’s hair strand by strand?!

If so, you have come close to seeing how delightful it was to treat Rory’s hair.crazy-cat

(source)

Rory and I have the exact same hair type- medium thickness but coarse as all get out. So them suckers WERE NOT ABOUT TO LET GO. Bless her, I was in her hair treating and combing that crap out from 4pm to 10pm.  We did break for stretches and food. img_5924

Bless.

This is what I discovered about a child getting lice……

IT IS HELL.

That’s all I discovered.

After I was done with Rory, I treated Ryder, Andy, and myself JUST IN CASE. Because ain’t nobody playing around when it comes to lice.

We treated and combed until 11pm and the children straight passed out.

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Again, bless.

The RID and Tea Tree Oil fumes were at an insane level in our home and then Andy realized he needed to also treat his beard and he STRAIGHT FREAKED OUT (it may or may not be because I straight freaked him out) and ended up completely shaving his beard off.

I haven’t seen that face since 2003, y’all.

The next morning Ryder woke up and came into the room and saw Andy and she LOST HER MIND.

She fell out on the floor sobbing saying, “WHO TOOK MY DADDY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHY WOULD YOU MAKE YOURSELF SO TERRIBLE?!”

In other words, Ryder FREAKING HATES Andy without a beard.

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I kept them home because we were up so late and because I feel like if someone has lice they really need to stay home for a day even though that isn’t protocol at school anymore.

BUT we had a dentist appointment and y’all know it is an act of God to get Ryder set up for an appointment AND get her medicine called in and given to her before so I wasn’t about to cancel the appt.

We get there and they call Rory back but not Ryder therefore they expected her to go back by herself and Y’ALL…… PANIC MODE.

I was mad texting people saying, “They just called Rory back alone so I can’t control anything she says!”

Well, don’t worry.

I was correct.

Rory says to the hygienist, “Well my daddy looks terrible because he shaved his beard because we have lice.”

SWEET MERCY.

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So that was fun to explain.

After the dentist we came home and took a 2 hour nap that was so glorious I almost forgot about the lice of yesterday.

ALMOST.

The good news is that it hasn’t come back and we are enough time out to do the second treatment and no new lice have been found. Hallelujah and amen.

Not even kidding though, I paranoid scratched until I made my head bleed.

Thank goodness I have THE BEST FRIEND EVER who offered to look through my hair to help the paranoia settle.

Kristen, you are my girl.

Now that I have lived through a lice saga, I have some words of wisdom:

HIRE SOMEONE TO COME IN AND TREAT EVERYONE.

It is so worth the $. I know because I decided not to spend it.

And by I, obviously I mean Andy.

Happy Friday & You’re Welcome for that paranoia itch you are currently having.

Related posts:

toddler
a day in the life
out of control

1 comment on “smh = scratching my head”

  1. Noooo!! I dread the day when my kids bring them home. (That’s why my four-year-old has her hair scraped back in plaits every single day for school!)
    And you really should write a book. Your posts make me literally laugh out loud!

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