hilarious adventures, Travel

Panama City Beach 2015

I still haven’t written Ryder’s birthday post.

I have avoided the upstairs at all costs (where the computer is) because NO AIR CONDITIONING.

Thankfully it is now fixed and slowly but surely cooling down in the house.

I thought about going through and editing all the beach pictures and then I was like…. NAHHHHHH. I just can’t even right now.


Sleep has been at a low. Our house and, well, ourselves are a mess. A HOT MESS. (get it?!)

So today I shall tell you about our vacation and posts the pics as I took them and CALL IT A DAY.


To say this was the most fun vacation we have taken since becoming parents is an understatement. There were no diapers, no bottles. Just two little girls that have no extreme needs anymore.


It was so easy. So dang easy. So wonderful.

You should know that it was kind of gloomy the entire time with periods of sun. That was the only bummer. But the upside to that was that it wasn’t scorching/melting hot outside. It felt so good the whole week.

We arrived on Saturday and it rained the entire way. I will admit that it was the car ride from hell. Rory + Cars for Hours = DISASTER.

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But all was well when we got to the beach because it suddenly stopped raining just enough for us to get out for an hour or so.

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PCB15 612 PCB15 618 PCB15 651 PCB15 658The next day was overcast with some storms but we still managed to get out on the beach some. It was actually nice to not have to hear “I’m hot” complaints.

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So this is the part where I tell you the craziness that was our booking this trip.

Here was the thought process:

Get check from Oscar Meyer, book long weekend at beach.

Well, as it turns out, Andy ended up having off half the week for the 4th. So all he had to do was take off an extra day for us to be able to stay the entire week.

But the condo we booked was already booked up and that meant we had to get a hotel for the last night there. But then we added three days. So, we stayed two nights in the condo, one night in one hotel, and three nights in another hotel.


I was a tad worried about how stressful that would be, but it ended up being totally fine. The hotels weren’t ON the beach so that was the only downside, but they both had great pools and the girls enjoyed it so much. The last hotel was the best because it had an indoor pool and a couch bed for them to sleep in.

Because let me tell you- The other one night in the hotel was …. interesting. 

PCB15 893I ended up sleeping diagonally  with my pillow on the nightstand and my legs under the children. Because #momlife.

Side note: Rory wants to sleep UNDER you. She legit tucks her feet and body under yours in the night. Ryder, like me, does not want to be touched. So you can imagine the joy that was that night of sleep with one child who can’t stop touching and another child who doesn’t want to be touched at all.

Okay. Back to the beach.

On Tuesday we went to a public beach and I will have to say, it was very nice! It wasn’t too crowded and it was such a sunny day. We stayed on the beach all day and had a blast.

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This is the part of the post where I interrupt to show you just how solemn and NOT DRAMATIC AT ALL Ryder is.

Casually walking to the beach….

PCB15 928WAIT. Something appalling has just happened!
PCB15 940Just kidding let me dance back to the ocean.PCB15 948Oh no. I feel unsteady….PCB15 952Oh, oh, ohhhhh I’m falling…..PCB15 953Oh, you want a picture of me?!PCB15 977Just one second missy…
PCB15 980I’m not gonna tell you again to put that camera up…. PCB15 982Let me become one with the sand and the ocean…PCB15 1010Let me just casually and not dramatically at all dig the tiniest hole known to man….PCB15 1040 PCB15 1045Okay now let us pause to talk about Rory and how completely ordinary she is… I mean she is not GORGEOUS AT ALL. And I totally did NOT have a moment of COMPLETE AND UTTER PANIC OVER HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE WAS because HEART BREAKER COMING TOWARD ME or anything…..

PCB15 738 PCB15 742I sent those pictures to most of my friends with the text saying, “I’m scared.”

I mean. She’s my kid so obviously I think she’s beautiful.

But this was the moment my future with her flashed before my eyes and I thought, “MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY!” Girlfriend is made for the beach. And girlfriend is going to break some serious hearts.

Honestly. Can you even with her tan and brown hair and brown eyes?

Totally ordinary and not gorgeous at all.

On opposite day.

Back to the beach…

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We went shopping at some gift shops one night to find Ryder a sand toy and the girls a little souvenir. Rory picked out some dangly earrings and therefore she is officially big now.

PCB15 727Rory also got a boogie board that night and as you can see on the above pictures she liked it. (I would make the effort to redo this in better chronological order but nah.)

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Ryder got a mermaid. I have no pictures of this.

We went to eat at Captain Anderson’s for dinner on Tuesday night and OH MY SWEET MERCY it was one of the best meals of my life. OF MY LIFE, PEOPLE. PCB15 1079 My girls. I’m so proud to be their mama. PCB15 1091After dinner we went to play Putt Putt and as per usual, the kids beat us.

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Wednesday was Ryder’s 4th birthday (coming Monday, her 4 year old post. I promise!). Andy and Rory had a fishing trip planned so it was just me and Ryder for the day!

I asked her what she wanted to do- told her we could do anything and suggested going to the beach and then pool and then whatever she wanted…..

She said, “No! I don’t want the beach. I want to go golfing and then I want to eat spaghetti with a giant meatball.”


Girl knows what she wants!

So we went to play golf and Ryder got FOUR hole-in-ones on her birthday. I mean. Seriously.

PCB15 1138 PCB15 1141After golfing we went to eat at an Italian restaurant and Ryder got a giant meatball for her birthday and it was her version of heaven on earth.

We didn’t buy her a big gift because the trip was the big thing and we were doing all the fun things they wanted in lieu of a birthday party/huge gift, but we did want to get her a few little things. She opened one gift when she woke up and then after lunch we headed to Target for her to spend $40 on a toy/toys and buy whatever dress she wanted.

This is where I inform you that it took AN HOUR AND A HALF for Ryder to pick out a Sophia Karaoke Purse and a Barbie. AN  HOUR AND A HALF BROWSING THREE TOY AISLES. I can’t even.

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Then we moved on to the clothing portion (where I felt for sure I needed to get an IV of caffeine at this point) and Ryder looked at




Then she finally said to me, “Mama- can I just buy some new pajamas instead?!”

SHE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS ONE. I have laughed over that ever since. She is so opposite of her fashionista sister. She just wants comfort. I feel ya sister.

You should also know that once we got to the check out she spotted princess pups. For $2. And she put back her $20 Barbie because she thought the princess pups were a better pick.

Most children would want those ON TOP of the other toys they browsed for an hour and a half, but not Ryder. She is the most sensible, content thing on the planet. PCB15 1159After the longest Target trip on earth, we decided we for sure needed a drink….


We had time to kill so we went to Bed, Bath, And Goodness There Are So Many Clever Things I Certainly NEED.

I mean, that giant shatterproof wine glass was a good start.

Then we went to World Market where I wanted ALL OF THE THINGS and Ryder parked herself on a couch and took a snooze while I browsed the furniture section.


We then got in the car and changed for our fancy birthday dinner.

This is where I tell you how much I love my minivan because I got in the back seat and changed and had so much room. We also had a dance party in the van because why not?

Then we headed to pick Rory and Andy up from fishing.

PCB15 1178They had the best time together. I’m so glad we had a day split up like that. Rory and her daddy are so much alike and love spending one on one time together and it is so rare. Ryder and I are the same way. It was such a good day.

Then we headed to Firefly  for Ryder’s fancy birthday dinner.

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She got chicken tenders.


PCB15 1189 PCB15 1190 PCB15 1195The girls did so good at the restaurant and I was so proud of them. They felt so special getting to eat somewhere so fancy.

They were better behaved than the drunk table next to us…. just a side note.

Then they brought her a molten cake and, well, you can imagine the excitement. Ryder and Rory proceeded to TEAR THAT THANG UP.

PCB15 1196 PCB15 1206After dinner we went to see Insdie Out and I will admit that I cried like a stinking baby. #hormones

We got back to the hotel to find that we were locked out of our room so while Andy handled this dilemma, Rory and Ryder crashed in the hallway. Preciousness.

PCB15 1352Want to know what is NOT preciousness?

Putting the kids to bed and getting ready for bed myself to find my pillow hostage by Crazy Sleeping Man Who Never Wakes Up. (I also regret to inform you that I left that beloved pillow at the hotel and haven’t slept the same since. RIP favorite pillow.)

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Thursday was our last full day of vacation and we lucked out to have some friends coming nearby that we don’t get to see often enough. So we headed to Rosemary Beach (30a if you are curious) to spend the day with them. This is where I tell you that we will certainly be staying there next year instead. Because I was fine with Panama City but it was CROWDED and I am not big on all the crowds.

PCB15 1363It was the most fun day. Anna Kate and Charli are the same ages as Rory and Ryder and they had a blast together. My girls haven’t stopped talking about wanting to go back to the beach with their friends one day. I tell you- there is nothing like having friends and your kids playing well together. It is the best.

After the beach day we headed to Baytowne Wharf in Sandestin and HOW HAVE I NEVER BEEN THERE? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to Destin area and never even heard of this. We met my cousin Margo and her husband and little girl. And by little girl, I mean TEENAGER – I CAN’T EVEN. I remember her stuffing her purses with pacies. Now I’m old and so is she.


Margo is one of my favorite people on the earth. Another side note.

We spent the evening with them and had a blast. I’m so mad we didn’t get a picture together! But as you can see the girls were so over pictures at this point in the trip…

PCB15 1388HA

Rory did the trampoline and the rock wall. Ryder attempted the trampoline but she didn’t quite get to the part where they jump. Or even stand there long enough to get buckled. Bless it.

PCB15 1400PCB15 1440Rory is fearless as we all know. She amazes me.

Ryder did, however, love the carousel.

PCB15 1432We got back to the hotel and the girls snuggled up in bed just like the other nights and it literally pains my heart because I feel like it might burst from so much love. Look at them. I just love them so much.

PCB15 1126Side note numero 203945304 – here are Ryder’s new birthday pajamas: “I Otter Be In Bed”


PCB15 1358We headed out on Friday morning which ironically was the only day the entire trip the children slept in.


Andy drove until ATL and then he passed the torch to me.

Side note # 98349843 : I hate driving. I would be 1 million percent content with never having to drive again. That is my dream. To be rich enough to have a driver. Or to live in NYC where I can ride the glorious subway every day. #goals

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And there you have it.

Our PCB trip in a nutshell.


I cannot wait until our next vacation. These girls are more fun by the day. Life is good, y’all.

Happy Weekend!

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