I realize that many of you have a lot of questions for me about the whole “Rory eats everything” crisis at our home.

So I thought I’d explain a little and give some examples.

We obviously all know that Rory is a stinker. She has been that way since about six months. Rory was the most perfect, calm baby. She was so easy.

And then she started crawling.

At that point, I knew we had a Stinker on our hands. She was constantly getting into things and putting things in her mouth.

I thought it was a phase.

PS: Still waiting for the phase to end.

For whatever reason, Rory has this inability to NOT put things in her mouth. Seriously, she just can’t help herself most of the time. I will be face to face with her saying “do not put that in your mouth” and her little hand with whatever in it just keeps going. And honestly, its not a defiant thing most of the time, she just simply can’t help herself. She will put in to her mouth and then realize.

I don’t know where I went wrong in all of this as a parent. Some of you will say its because I didn’t breast feed. Maybe that’s it! Maybe I finally found something that really is a cause from not breast feeding her! (HA!)

Anyways. The fact is, the kid has to have something in her mouth at all times or else she pretty much goes into shock or something.

Let me give you an example of things she has eaten…. and yes, some are disgusting and embarrassing. I am only writing this post and admitting to all of this to maybe help someone else out there with the shame of their kids’ weird behaviors.

She has put in her mouth or eaten (much to my horror on most): acorns, dirt, a bug, leaves, grass, bird poop off her slide, dog poop (I can’t believe I’m admitting this!), crayons by the hundreds, playdoh, Pinsol, Tums, two Christmas ornaments, EVERY SINGLE BUTTON off Andy’s uber expensive TV remote, rocks, the brick on the fireplace, books, paper, shoes, bath toys, sticks, the rubber eye piece off of my uber expensive camera, a plunger, toilet paper, bath soap, a dime, hair rubber bands, a DVD, a DVD case….

Maybe I should stop.

Now, before you all call CPS on me, let me assure you that I do watch my children diligently. The problem is that Rory is EXTREMELY sneaky and fast. So these things have all happened when I’m a) changing Ryder’s diaper, b) feeding Ryder, c) going to the restroom, or d) doing a quick something or another in the next room.

And, thankfully, for my case- it isn’t just me she has done these things with. About 9 out of 10 times when I go to get her from her class at church the people in there immediately start apologizing to me because she has eaten a crayon or something. And I just laugh and thank the good Lord other people see what I’m talking about and that she does this in other people’s care as well.

Its exhausting having to keep up with her and make sure she hasn’t eaten anything deadly.

And I’ve called poison control more times than I’d like to admit in total freak out mode. Of course, they make me feel like total crap as a mom and tell me “she will be sick at her stomach” and “just watch her”.

Which brings me to one more point in all of this….

Not ONCE has Rory EVER EVER EVER said “yuck” or “gross” or “nasty” when eating any of the above things. In fact, she 99.999% of the time is saying “mmmmm gooooood” when I pry whatever out of her mouth.

So I’m starting to seriously wonder if the child has something wrong with her taste buds. There is no way that dog poop or bath soap are “mmmmm goood”…. right?!!!!!!!!!!!

So I’m pleading you to tell me these things have happened to you. I don’t care if you are lying to me or not- just tell me that this is “normal” and that she WILL grow out of it.

Please, anyone…. anyone????

Once again, I find myself saying, “its a good thing she’s cute”!