Everyday Life, hilarious adventures

one mystery solved, 109123103 to go.

Rory is on a mission to teach Ryder to spell her name.

Rory does not understand why Ryder could care less about spelling all of the things in life.

Ryder, bless it, is not made from the Harris side. She’s her momma through and through. Rory is most definitely made from the Harris side and wants to know everything in the world.

Ryder and I are just good to know that life is full of sunshine and rainbows and we don’t want that ruined by reality of how things really work. HA!

Anyways.

Let me give you an example of how the spelling lessons go down.

Rory: Okay, Ryder! Let’s spell your name, you ready?!

Ryder: (while smiling big) No! Well. Okay!

Rory: Say R-Y-D-E-R. Ready?

Ryder: R-E-R, RYDER! (To Ryder’s defense, she actually says her name ‘Ry-er’…. ha)

Rory: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Ryyyyyyydddderrrrrrrrrrrr. Let’s try again! Say R-Y-D-E-R.

Ryder: Whoa-wy (Rory) I diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid spelled it, I did!

As you can see, this really works out well.

So this morning I was listening to them talk and I heard Ryder say her new catchphrase of “Do you know me? I don’t even know you.” to Rory.

Rory then says, “Ryder! I do know you! R-Y-D-E-R. See! I know you!”

And Ryder said, “YAY! YOU KNOW ME!”

So I realized that maybe her “do you know me?” actually meant do you know how to spell my name.

Toddlers aren’t confusing or anything.

I’m running with that explanation so that I don’t have a complex that my daughter constantly says, “I don’t even know you, Mom. I don’t even know you.”

One mystery solved.

But, I have children and we all know they are mysterious, weird creatures.

Next mystery is Rory’s new paranoia about life.

Remember when I told you she called Ryder a “perp” all the time like they do on Law & Order: SVU ?

Well.

Her new thing now is to watch cars while we drive. The following is her nonstop badgering me and acting like a crazy person:

“Mom! You need to go faster, these cars are trailing us! Mom! That car passed us and they might cut us off! Mom! I think that car is following us, you need to lose him!”

I mean.

??????????????

I’m wondering what Andy watches when I’m not around. I did notice the latest episode of 24 had been watched without me on the DVR ….

The final mystery of the day is why children are so dang creepy.

I mean, seriously.

My children will do anything to creep me the heck out.

For example, yesterday I was taking a shower and I felt like I was being watched. Which BY THE WAY is not a good feeling ever, especially in the nude.

I opened my eyes and there is Rory just standing silently watching me.

Really child?!

And I’ve told you all of the times I’ve woken up in the middle of the night with her staring silently over my bed.  NOT CREEPY AT ALL CHILD.

Well, last night the creepiness got taken to A WHOLE NEW LEVEL, people.

I’m sleeping so good, I mean so good.

When all of a sudden I heard it on the monitor AT 2:30am….

A creepy tiny voice that sounded like it was using the monitor as a walkie talkie….

“Ready or not – here I come!”

Pee my dang pants.

If you don’t know this already, Ryder has a chronically hoarse voice (probably due to some vocal cord damage in her surgery). During the day it is usually fine, but in the early mornings and at night it is almost always really hoarse.

So imagine yourself sleeping. Then imagine hearing a tiny hoarse child voice whispering “ready or not, here I come!” into your monitor. And it wasn’t an excited tone, it was just a deadpan whisper.

JUST IMAGINE.

Y’all. I literally could have died.

When it is 2:30 in the am and you aren’t fully awake your mind cannot connect two and two together. I went into an all out panic attack and could not move for about 30 seconds until I realized what was going on.

AND BY THE WAY- Why do my children have to creep me the heck out all the time?! I mean, COME ON. I birthed you and gave you life! You need to stop!

Please tell me I’m not the only one with creepy children?!

Here they are sleeping so sweetly…. now explain to me why they wake up from the sweetness and promptly want to give their momma a heart attack?!

unnamed[1](Rory is sleeping with her watch she got at VBS, hehe)

unnamed[1] (2)

 

Happy Creepy Friday!

 

 

 

 

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