Do you ever have about a million things hit you at the same time that are just so discouraging and ugly and seem hopeless? Do you ever feel so beaten down you just want to beat someone back? Do you ever just crack under it all and lose your
That is where I’ve been this week.
I’ve lost my cool. Too many times.
In fact, I’m going to be really honest with y’all. (Like I ever have a problem with honesty here?! ha)
But things got ugly.
I had enough of bad attitudes, disrespectful mouths, and the absolute carelessness of others and I LOST IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.
I have never lost my cool and yelled like that in front of the girls. Ever. I mean I LOST IT. It didn’t last long but it was like a mighty storm that comes in and shakes the entire house.
My family knew that Mama was D.O.N.E.
My immediate reaction was one of severe guilt. I’m talking severe, y’all. I was shaking from guilt and feeling like the worst mom on the planet. I immediately grabbed the girls and wrapped them in my arms and begged their forgiveness. I prayed whiled holding them that God would forgive my outburst and to help me handle things better. I prayed that loud and clear so the girls could hear.
We all sat there and loved on each other.
Immediately after the guilt was washed away and I saw the girls faces I realized that maybe this was the best thing I had done in a while for myself and for my family.
I know, I know. This is so not what we are used to reading on mom blogs. We are used to people telling us that we need to be quiet and selfless at all times. We are told to never have an outburst.
While I think that can be good advice, I also think that if we don’t have the very rare outburst when we aren’t being treated the right way or the kids are deliberately disobeying, our children won’t ever know its okay to say,” ENOUGH.”
I want Rory and Ryder to always feel like they can say “enough”. If they are in bad relationships of ANY kind, I want them to be bold enough and strong enough to say, “I WILL NOT TAKE THIS ANY LONGER.” I tell them all the time that if someone is being mean to them at school they need to say, “I do not want you to do/say that to me anymore.” I teach them to be kind always, but to also stand up for themselves.
So if we, as mothers, are constantly being selfless and letting our kids see us never say, “I HAVE HAD ENOUGH,” then how are they going to learn by my actions the very things we have taught them?
Not to mention that they are my children and SHOULD NOT be acting that way. What I say goes. PERIOD. I shouldn’t be dealing with arguing and disrespect.
Don’t get me wrong here, I am certainly hoping I never have to lose my cool again. But so what if I do?
Since my outburst and declaration of ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, my girls have been so much more caring. It has done a complete turn around. They are not running around trembling and scared that mom is going to have another outburst AT ALL. They have just realized that I’m not taking the behavior anymore. Rory hasn’t been pushing every limit and Ryder hasn’t been saying, “no,” to my every word.
Today they ran to me and told me they missed me after just one night away with grandparents. On the way home from the park they both talked to me and sang with me and we haven’t done that in forever. Weeks, y’all. Its been several weeks since the bad attitudes have been around.
Today Rory drew a picture for me and told me she was sorry because she knew she wasn’t being nice to me lately. Not in a scared way, but in a way that made me know she truly understood she had been acting not-so-good.
So moms, if you have the occasional outburst of “ENOUGH”, don’t beat yourself up over it.
The key is to apologize for the outburst and to explain why it happened. Never call names or say things that tear anyone down. All you need to say is, “I have had enough.”
We need to start sticking up for ourselves in a way that is loving. “I love you too much to let you treat me this way.” We would want our kids to do the same for themselves, wouldn’t we?
I just love all of you mom friends so much. After a long winter indoors we are all weary and ready for the sun to shine through into our kids’ hearts and attitudes. I want to encourage you to say “enough” when you need to and to love your people hard through it.
Sometimes you just need to lose your cool in order to get their attention and in order to show them you love them too much to let them continue on with their poor behavior.
And then remember that every moment is a new one, so move past the outburst and show them grace and how attitude is truly everything.
Love you mom friends. Hope this encouraged you today.