Everyday Life

Married Mondays: Vacation Recap

To say we had an awesome week would be the understatement of the century.

Or at the very least, the decade.

As I’m writing this I can hardy believe it is already over. That’s the crappy thing about vacations – they have to end.

The awesome part about vacation ending is that we got to see the girls finally and oh how I missed them!
That’s the funny thing about getting away, you actually have time to miss your kids and their oh-so-stinkerish ways.

Andy and I were able to reconnect and just enjoy each other without thinking (much) about work or the kids (okay we thought about them a lot) or responsibilities. We talked long and hard about future plans and our wants and needs. It was a wonderful week and I missed Andrew last Monday when we went back to the real world! ha!

Now this wouldn’t be your typical Tiffany post without some hilarious and random stories. So of course I must tell you these things because I personally believe they are of note (and at the very least I want to remember them so I must write it down).

1- My favorite day was our day on St Thomas. We had a wonderful time on the catamaran snorkel and beach excursion.
While on the catamaran, we were waiting to get off at the beach. Well here comes Tiffany and I’m talking to the hottest, most rugged, shirtless excursion guide ever (sorry Andy) about growing up in the south and all the rednecks that come off cruises. A wave comes as I’m trying to get off the boat and as I’m laughing about something with the guy, I get off balance and hit the deck. Hard. And with a bounce. I grabbed the ladder and tried to change it into some graceful save… but of course that wouldn’t be a good Tiffany story would it?! Nope. Instead I then slip AGAIN off the ladder and yell “SH**!” loudly (because that’s a recurring theme for me…) and I just yell out as he’s trying to catch me “I’m just going to jump in!”. Except I didn’t jump. I very much so gracefully fell into the water. Smooth. As per usual.

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2- Probably the moment I laughed the hardest about is what I’d like to call Facial Recognition Fail.
I was trying to find a picture of us that I thought would be hilarious, but couldn’t find it. The sweet tiny helper lady came and asked if I needed any help and if I had tried the facial recognition screen. Of course I hadn’t!

So here we go to find my face on a screen. She swipes my card with a picture of me on it and it pulled up hundreds of photos….

Of a Korean man, a black couple and black lady, and a Latino lady.

No seriously. This is who is pulled up on my facial recognition.

The girl looks at me like WHAT THE…. and holy mercy here came the waterworks from laughter. I swear y’all, there were literally hundreds of pictures of these three people and not one of me. We cried laughing. I was not prepared for this, I mean I really should’ve worn depends. We were literally crouched down on the floor laughing and crying hysterically. She said it was the best thing that ever happened to her in her thick Argentinian accent. The rest of the week she would see me and we would just laugh and laugh. It was amazing.

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3- One night we were in line for a game show thing they have on cruises. The boat was particularly rocky at this point and I was trying to grab onto the door I was leaning on.

Except I ended up grabbing onto a lady’s butt. Like full force, death grip on her bum. I was just a tad MORTIFIED.

4- Speaking of mortified… I was laying out one day next to an elderly couple. Andy had just gotten up to take a dip in the pool when I heard it…

A fart.

For about a second I froze and thought oh dear sweet merciful Jesus, please tell me that wasn’t me! (You know you would’ve felt the same way…)

Then the older man next to me says, “Dangit! This is why I hate getting old! Can’t even control my farts anymore!”

You have no idea how hard it was to remain calm and not laugh my head off. If he wasn’t so upset about it I would have.

And of course I ended up with him in the elevator… never good.

5- This is random but something worth noting- There was a man that roamed about the ship that had the most epically awful comb over I’ve ever seen in my life. We saw him over and over again, multiple times per day.

Much to my delight, he ended up on our snorkeling trip and after the snorkeling he popped out of the water and one side of his hair was extremely short… while the other side was wayyyy past his shoulders. It was so amazing I cannot ever forgive myself for not getting a picture.

6- Carb. = BEST. TATTOO. EVER.


7- We sat by all kinds of people at dinner. Sweet old couples, complete jerks, and in between.

One night we sat next to this couple from South Carolina and boy! was he a talker. The funny part about this man (and his giant ego) was he kept trying to guess the nationality of the waiters and waitresses.

One of the head waiters came over and struck up a conversation. The SC guy says, “Where are you from, man?!”. The waiter answered that he was from Italy. In a brilliant move by SC man he says to the waiter, “REALLY?! I thought for sure you were Japanese!”

?????? I mean. Really?! Japanese?! In no way on earth did he look Japanese. Andy and I about died. I choked on my food for reals. Lawd.

(here are some pictures of us at dinner- it was my favorite because there were no counting bites, telling them to eat, telling them to sit down 10239203 times, or sharing food. top 3 favorite parts of getting away)

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And here is a picture of our food one night….


Oh, oops. Sorry. I ate it before I remembered to take a picture because the FOOD WAS THAT GOOD.

8- One afternoon we ordered room service and had no idea what we wanted so we ordered several things off the menu. Well after naming all the things the lady asks, “Aaaand how many is this order for?!” I may or may not have said 16.

9- One day we went out to the port for the day. When we got back our room was clean but I noticed something on my bed.

It was my bra, nicely folded in the middle of the bed. Now I don’t know if was the rum punches they served on our snorkeling trip or what but it was so hilarious to me. And so embarrassing! Why couldn’t he have just hidden it somewhere?! Lord. I guess this is the new version of the towel animals! ha!


10- Andrew and I decided we would find the cheesiest tourist gifts ever one day. You should’ve seen the looks we kept getting as we took pictures with these awful things. He’s so romantic and surprised me with a shot glass and a figurine of my mom. (haha kidding) Here are our favorites-

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11- On the cruise you get the chance to take the corniest, cheesiest, most gag inducing pictures EVER.

Here are two different cheesy sessions going on that I had to capture.

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Well Andrew and I also got a cheesy pic done. I mean. The worst.


12- As most of you know, Andrew and I are polar opposites. I had one plan for this cruise. Sleep.

Andrew, on the other hand, LOVES A PLAN. I got so tickled because every single day he got the schedule and highlighted and marked it up with 1000 things we were going to do. I went along most of the time, but I had the draw the line once or twice and say, “No, momma needs a nap in the sun.”  Its a bad pic, but if you zoom in you can see all the things he’s marked for us to do.



Basically we slept, ate, laid by the pool, and repeat. It was such a wonderfully relaxing week.

I urge you, my dear married friends, to take time away from your kids with your spouse. You will not regret it. Your kids need it and so does your marriage. I know most can’t take a week away, but most can take a night or even just a few hours.

Date nights and getaways are imperative to your sanity as parents and to your marriage, whether you have kids or not!

I love you, Andy. Thank you for such a delicious, relaxing, amazing week.

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Here are some random pictures from our trip- enjoy!

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2 thoughts on “Married Mondays: Vacation Recap

  1. I am trying to convince my hubby to go on a cruise, but he thinks there will be nothing to do but lie around and read. I told him that’s kind of the point! 🙂

    Also, funny story: I took my daughter Charlotte (who is 3) to the park in Jackson on Saturday, April 12, and when we were there I saw these 2 girls there with whom I presumed to be their grandparents. One of the girls came close to where I was, and I thought to myself, “That looks like Ryder. No, it probably isn’t.” But then your mom said something to me, and so then I just had to ask what the girls’ names were, and when she said they were Rory and Ryder, I said, “I read Tiffany’s blog!” She probably thought I was a total weirdo, but I loved getting to see those “stinkers” you write about in real life. 🙂

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