I have big news, y’all.
I’m judging a beauty pageant this weekend.
Like for real. Me.
Please, try to contain your laughter to a respectable level.
Also, please help me remember to wax my eyebrows before Saturday.
Because, seriously, nothing would be worse than showing up to judge beauty stuff with my natural man-brows.
Something hit me today though.
How am I going to be able to contain my laughter? Y’all know that I am KNOWN for my giggle fits.
I’m trying to figure out what drug to take to sedate me so that I can keep my giggling to a minimum.
Let me know if y’all have a solution to this.
The past week and a half have been a series of DOOZY days. I mean. DOOZIES.
These heifers of mine have been in full force crazy defiant mode.
Girls: She means YES DO IT.
That is basically the run down of the past 10 days. Goodness.
So I’ve been having a bit of a obedience bootcamp.
Clearly it is going well.
I was getting ready when I noticed the above graffiti. I immediately go to Rory and ask her if she did this. The following was our conversation:
Me: Rory, did you write on my cabinets?
Rory (with her most innocent face): No, it was Ryder. Her did it and is very bad.
Me: Rory, are you telling the truth? Are you telling me that you did not write your name on my cabinets?
Rory: Yes, I tell truth. It was Ryder.
Me: Rory, are you sure you are telling me the truth? How does Ryder know how to write your name? Last time I saw Ryder write anything all she could do was scribble.
Rory: Well, I just hold her hand and show her how to write R-O-R-Y.
Now, people. In these moments it is really hard for me to keep my composure. Somehow I managed to not even crack a smile. I should get a trophy.
The best part about summer in the new house is obviously the pool. I can let them swim before nap and that, my friends, is how I make it through long days of discipline issues.
I now have to figure out what to wear to be a judge at this pageant.
And I’m practicing my eternal laughter.
I feel like I’m going to be twitching pretty badly.