I’m sitting here mulling over the word learn. This post could go a thousand different ways.
There are so many things I would love to learn: a foreign language, how to sew, how to “balance it all”, how to make my children obey at least 99% of the time, how to enjoy every moment of life, how to have a successful, happy marriage (not that we don’t but there is always room for improvement and growth), how to train a dragon…. I mean there are MILLIONS OF THINGS I would love to learn.
But most of all?
I want to learn to trust myself. To believe in myself. To let go of insecurities that are like cancer to my dreams.
I want to be a writer BUT : I don’t have the time, I can’t find my niche, I don’t think I will get the support I need, people think I am crazy, I am afraid I will step on people’s toes and hurt their feelings, I am afraid no one will care about what I want to say.
These things run rampant through my head at all times.
Can’t I just learn to let all that go? Can’t I learn to just be myself and be a dreamer and WRITE ALREADY.
I’m always learning. Learning to adapt and to change my life and my goals for my current circumstances.
But I need to learn to not be afraid to go for MY dreams and my God giving gifts in life.
I am 10000% on board with Andy’s dreams and goals. I LOVE to serve him in that way. I can’t tell you how happy this has made me.
But part of me is missing something. Something for me. Some of my dreams are leaving a hole in my heart.
This has been my hardest lesson to learn in life, to just quiet my fears and use my God given gifts well.