kid free silence

All this kid-free silence is making me want to write. I have all these ideas in my head… all these words, sentences, and even paragraphs I’d love to put down. And of course, of course, no computer to do it with. I have my iPhone and iPad but not having a keyboard messes me up.

So I’ve scribbled some ideas and words on a scratch piece of paper I found in the hotel room and am praying I won’t lose the rest when I get back to real life.

I’m currently in Ohio where Andy has been for almost two weeks now doing a training course for his job. I am in mommy heaven. I took a Tylenol PM to ensure a good night’s rest (which was probably totally unnecessary but I didn’t want to chance it) and slept from 10 pm to 10 am. OH.MY.WORD. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY BLISSFUL. I’m sure you’ve heard me say it before, but neither of my kids inherited Andy and I’s love of sleep apparently so getting even four straight hours of sleep would be heaven on earth since that never ever happens at home.

Today I watched an old Lindsay Lohan movie (like before she went all crazy), took a long,extremely hot shower, and took my time putting on my makeup and doing my hair. After I got ready I ventured out and found my most favorite shops that I most definitely don’t have in Paris- SuperTarget, Best Buy, World Market, etc. I also found Starbucks and Panera Bread which made my life complete.

I do miss my little stinkers, but I won’t lie and say I’m not enjoying every second of this kid free time by myself and with Andy. I think it’s so important to get away and rejuvinate yourself and remember what life was like before the constant touching, feeding, and no sleep that comes with having kids.

I’ve also had a lot of time to think about what I want to do with my life. I’ve always had this struggle of not knowing what I’m meant to do or who I am supposed to be. I’ve toyed with so many ideas as to what I want to be when I grow up but have never been truly satisfied with what the outcome would be. I thought for a long time I’d settle with being a teacher and I think I could be a good one but I don’t have that desire to do it. And with only one life, I feel like settling is the last thing I should do. So I’ve decided, and am so very happy about this decision, to go back to school and get my degree in English with an emphasis in creative writing. Maybe I will write a book or children’s book, or maybe I will never write more than this here blog, but I will finally feel like I accomplished something for me and that’s enough for me right now. Four colleges and about ten majors later, I finally figured out what I want to do with my life and it feels good. Now I just have to figure out when to start back and what to do with the kids. I don’t have much left, but I’m not under any illusion that it will be easy. It will be hard to juggle it all but I’m ready.

Anyways, I will be back tomorrow to tell you a hilarious story about a mini vacation Andy and I took once… and I’m hoping it isn’t repeated this weekend.

And one more thing- will you pray with me for a friend of mine, Sara, and her family? Little Cooper started spitting up blood this morning and has been admitted into the hospital to try and figure out why. I KNOW the fear she is going through of the unknown and I know she would appreciate the prayers. Thank you!

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