Everyday Life

hush. don’t scare it away.

Yesterday I took Rory to school as per usual and got home with Ryder. She was in her room playing like she loves to do (because she gets to play ALONE in her imaginary dream world) and I was sitting on the couch watching my usual Gilmore Girls because I CANNOT QUIT.

All of a sudden I hear the pitter patter of feet on the floor. AND THEN A FLUSH.

I sat here in a state of disbelief and WHAT THE HECK DID SHE JUST FLUSH?

I casually walk by and realize she doesn’t have pants on. The following conversation happens:

Me *all cazh/cas* : Whatcha doin’? Did I hear the toilet flush?
Ryder: Yeah. I went potty.
Me: Ohhh ok. Well make sure you —–
Ryder (interrupts): MOM. I will potty in the potty, k? I know how do it. I am a big girl, ‘member?

So for the rest of the day I was literally paralyzed on the couch waiting, listening to what she was doing.

Every so often I would hear that beautiful sound of tiny feet on the bathroom floor and then the sound of GLORY when the toilet would flush.

All.By.Herself.

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She wouldn’t let me talk to her about it or anything. Just GAH MOM I GOT THIS.

I was literally telling myself every time I thought about going to check on her, ‘HUSH GIRL, DON’T SCARE IT AWAY.”

Like I literally said that out loud.

And let me tell y’all something.

I refuse to go back to diapers now.

I see the light.

I will fight until the end.

Or at least I will ignore it until the end and just pray she stays on this path.

She randomly came into the room and said, “I am DONE with diapers.”

So clearly ignoring and pretending I don’t know what is happening is working out really well for me.

I AM THE MASTER POTTY TRAINER.

My book will be out soon.

Titled:

Hush, girl. Don’t scare it away.
From potty training pro, Tifani Harris

Alternate title: How Ignoring My Children For Gilmore Girls on Netflix Helped Me Potty Train

It is sure to be a best seller.

 

*cazh or cas? Obvi short for casual.

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