Everyday Life

highjacking the program

I would like to start this post by saying…


The past two nights = little sleep.

I do it to myself every single time.


So yesterday I picked Rory up from school and she was covered, head to toe, in dirt.


Because, duh, they were digging for worms.

Rory’s teacher said to me, “this girl gives the boys a run for their money… all the other girls just do what they say but she doesn’t take crap from NOBODY.” ha!!!!!

So as I’m leaving, the girls’ teachers were asking if we would be there for the program that night. This is the first I’ve heard of such a program. They said they would both be singing songs and it would be short and cute.

Well, I had already decided not to go because there was pretty much no way I could get the children bathed and have them back up there in time.

Then, all of a sudden, on the way home I start hearing sobbing from the back seat. Rory had forgotten her beloved Gloria at school. (As in, Gloria the hippo.)

So I decided to just go to the program and let them sing just so we could get Gloria and not have the wrath of Rory upon us.

We dropped the kids off in their classes and got decent seats and are half excited/half scared at what was to come.

Finally the kids come out and Ryder immediately decided to sit at the front with the director who was the only one who had a microphone.  Then Rory decided to go up there too.

This is when I should have started shouting, “MAYDAY! MAYDAY!”, but I still had false hope at the time.

All of a sudden I start seeing my children standing up on the prayer bench alter thing and JUMPING OFF with a sound like “woooo!” with their hands way in the air.

Oh. And they had their spirit fingers out big time.

So that happened about 20 times, much to my humiliation.

And they were dancing, and jumping, and shouting, and giggling, and jumping, and pulling their dresses up, and shoving each other, and jumping, and dancing, and running through the aisles just out of my reach.

I know you are all wondering what I was doing during this highjacking of the program..

well, there came a point where I had to make a decision…

do I jump up and get my kids from their delightful performances while also having my large rear end in EVERY SINGLE VIDEO, or do I just let them be and be mortified?

I chose mortified.

Because the only thing worse than their entertaining qualities is my rear being in all the PreK graduation videos across Savannah.

Here are the stinkers before the craziness really started… I got no other pictures or videos because I just was too humiliated/exhausted to film it.


They are trying to look so innocent.


People keep commenting on how they can see entertainment careers in their future.

Lord, help me.

This morning the little stinkers were watching a movie so I thought it’d be the prime opportunity for a shower. I mean, they are older now so I get showers more often than I used to.

So I got a shower, and it was blissful. No one interrupted me. Awesome.

And while in the shower, I was thinking, “Man! This is much easier than it used to be!”. I couldn’t believe how I was able to take a shower without any problems.

Then I got out.

I could hear Rory yelling, “MOM! HURRY! RYDER MAKE A MESS!”.

I came into the living room to find Ryder pant-less and poop EVERYWHERE. She had taken her diaper off and was now trying to clean it up but it was NOT GOING WELL FOR HER.

And all I could think was that it wasn’t even 8:00 am yet.


Is it sad how normal all of this is for me?

After all that mess, we went to WalMart and I gave the girls donuts so they would be quiet and behave. We saw all of Savannah but I didn’t care.


Silence is golden.

Or in my case, silence is mostly DEADLY.

Happy Memorial Weekend!

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