flowers and a letter to Abby

Oooooo sweet mercy lawd this has been a crazy week.

Andy’s been out of town which means extra craziness added to the regular craziness.

Speaking of craziness…

Let me tell you the story of how I (kinda) received two bouquets of flowers.

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I got to work on Thursday morning and my boss called me and said, “hey! Not sure why but my housekeeper is getting flowers delivered here so just accept them when they get here.”

So, obviously I said to her that I was TOTALLY going to pretend like Andy sent me flowers and keep them up there with me until she picked them up.

So in come the flowers about an hour later and I very giddily excepted them, all the while pretending they were for me…

then I look at the card and it says my name on them and I’m all, “huh!?!”.

So I call my boss and say, “Did you have them change the name on the card?!”, and she says “um no”.

By this time I’m red faced and hysterically laughing because I realize Andy really HAD sent me flowers on the same day I was going to pretend like I got flowers from him.

Because really? You can’t possibly get a bigger coincidence than that, people.

I’m still laughing about it.

Later on in the day, here comes the next set of flowers and I felt like the most special girl in all the land….

until the housekeeper picked up the second bouquet, of course.

And just so you know- Andy never sends flowers. I’m not being ugly about this, but seriously, he never ever ever sends flowers so that is why I was so shocked and why it is just all the more crazy.

ANYWAYS.

I’m currently watching a precious, precious baby named Sadie.

Sadie is one of those babies like Ryder. She cries. A lot. Which is actually the biggest understatement in the entire world.

And unless you have a “Ryder baby” you can’t possibly imagine how hard it is.

So I’d like to write a letter to my friend, Abby, and all the other momma’s who are mothers to “Ryder babies”.

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Dear Abby, 

What an amazing woman you are.

I know that you are so exhausted that you ache to the bone. I know you cringe at every sound because it is either the baby crying, again, or it is someone else in your house who just can’t possibly understand that any noise could wake the precious monster sleeping for the first time all day.

I know the guilt you feel when you leave your baby, not because you are leaving her but because you are just so glad to be away from her. Yes, you miss her and can’t wait to see her at the end of the day, but going to work couldn’t possibly be more of a break to you. 

I know that feeling of hatred and love you feel for your husband right now. You couldn’t love or hate anyone more than him. He just can’t understand how hard it is to have a screaming baby who no one but you can soothe and a toddler pulling on you all day. I know he says things that make you want to punch him in the face because they are so insensitive and I know you feel like sometimes you’d be better off without him for a few days.

I know the annoyance you feel that you can’t leave your kid anywhere and everyone makes SO MANY comments and suggestions that are sometimes down right ugly. I know you have tried everything and that you want to strangle each person who says anything like that to you.

Well, sweet Abby, just know it’ll end. Take it one day at a time. Heck, take it one minute at a time. I promise it gets better.

One day you will all wake up and the crying will stop. Maybe not completely, they are children after all, but it won’t be constant. You will feel like a completely new woman, I promise. The fog will lift and you will be able to breathe again.

Don’t ever, ever feel guilty for needing a break. Your kids need it too, whether they know it or not. You deserve a minute, or a couple of hours, to yourself.

Give your husband a little break. Shoot him ugly looks behind his back or even flip him the bird when he isn’t looking… it’ll make you feel better and he will never know. One day soon you will enjoy each other again, I promise. He has no idea that he’s being insensitive- he doesn’t know what to do either. He hates seeing it so crazy and out of control. And we all know they don’t handle things around the house being out of control well.

And give everyone else a break too. It sucks so bad, but they just don’t have a clue what to say because they’ve never been in the situation you are in and have never had a baby like yours. Just smile and think thoughts like, “I hope someone cuts all your hair off in your sleep”. 

I promise it all gets better. Eat chocolate. Drink a big coke. Hide in your closet sometimes. 

You will be a better mom and person for it. This is the hardest time in your life and you feel completely alone. Luckily it ends and you realize how amazing you are for surviving it. 

And always remember to find some fellow “Ryder mommas” and rely on them to help you through it because no one else in the world understands. 

You are someone to be respected and admired. I certainly do.

Love,

Ryder’s Momma

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