Everyday Life

Day 9: Letting Go of Expectations

People! Both of my girls are napping at the same time. This is a first for the week. Both girls have either not napped at all or napped at different times this week. What is their problem? Don’t they understand that Mommy LIVES for naptime?!

By the way, I realize I didn’t post yesterday but it was a doozy of a day and by the time the girls went to bed I was DONE. I laid myself up in the bed and was out.

I had a bad migraine yesterday and felt downright terrible. I had finally gotten Rory down for a nap and was just crawling into bed myself when my phone rang. It was Ryder’s school calling because she had a fever. Lovely. Its either her teeth or a reaction to the shot she got last week (probably the shot) and she has been as happy and cheerful as ever in spite of it yesterday.

I had come down to our room to use the restroom when I heard on the monitors (that we tend to leave on 24/7 because we forget) Rory’s door shutting. So I’m hearing her grunting like she’s trying to move something heavy and hear her say “I’m gonna swing down Ryder!” and I’m trucking it to her room to see what’s going on. When I open the door I find her up on her window and the window is wide open. I say, “What in the world are you doing?!!!!!!!!!” and she says, “I’m just tryin’ swing out, Mom!”.

This is everyday life, people. Every.day.life.

Y’all will be shocked to learn that today I had a playdate with a new friend! That’s right! I met Haley at church and her little boy, Preston, is in Rory’s class at school. They are two little stinkers together and were so cute.

I’ve always prayed for God to just send me ONE friend and so far I have two and some girls at the church we are visiting have been super nice to me. Hopefully those will turn into great friendships too. I’m excited to know some people finally here- it’s been pretty lonely.

I am starting to realize some things lately about my expectations. I put God into a box of low expectations, meaning I expect things to happen but never GREAT things or miracles. Which is silly because I’ve seen first hand in my life real-life, this day and age miracles so why don’t I expect that from God? Not in a way of entitlement but in a way that I truly believe He CAN work in my life or in others in a huge way.

And then there are expectations of people I set way too high. These expectations tend to get me in some major trouble and cause heartache or strife when it isn’t needed.

I expect way too much of Andy most of the time. I expect him to be just like my dad, I expect him to be my girlfriend that I can gab to and for him to actually care about the crap I’m talking about, I expect him to be the perfect husband and father 100% of the time. And clearly, he can’t be all of that. God gives us girlfriends for a reason. He gives us dads for a reason. He does not have to be those things for me. And I’m not at 100% as a wife or mom even half the time so why do I expect perfection out of him?

Then there is the expectations I place on my kids. I expect Rory and Ryder to fit a mold of obedient, calm, respectful kid 100% of the time. This is a good expectation to have, but what is unrealistic is to think they are going to just automatically listen and be obedient without me having to train them to be that way. Also, I have to remember they are one and two and aren’t going to fit into a mold. And thank goodness! My girls are the spunkiest little girls I’ve ever known and they don’t fit into any mold unless there is one that is made up of equal parts precious and stinker. They are both strong-willed and have such funny, sweet personalities. I have to stop expecting my one and two year old to act like 10 year olds and have patience as I teach them to be respectful and kind. I have to mold their hearts towards obedience and towards Jesus.

I also hold too high expectations of others- my family, my church, myself even. But the truth is, we are all humans who are going to fail. It is inevitable. I can’t expect perfection from anyone.

This is an area where, if I let go of the too-high expectations I tend to set on humans, I could save myself a lot of frustration and heart ache.

But, if I started expecting exactly what God can do which is “immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20), I would see all the wonders around me. I wouldn’t be missing any of the amazing things He does for me every single day. I wouldn’t set such unrealistic expectations on others because I’d be leaning on God to fill those voids.

This is a hard thing to let go of, but I need to keep reminding myself to stop expecting perfection of humans since it is our nature to fail and to sin.

What expectations do you need to let go of?

This is my 8th post in the series of Letting Go. You can start at the beginning here.

There are over 1100 people participating in the 31 Days challenge- go check out more here.

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3 thoughts on “Day 9: Letting Go of Expectations

  1. I expect too much out of my friends, too…and out of my future husband…and my parents. I wish people could be perfect, but boy – talk about a wake-up call. Thank you for these wise words, Tiffany.

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