Category: Everyday Life

like a fog horn to my soul; a post brought to you at 3:34am

Do you ever wonder, “what the heck was I thinking?!!!” 

Because it is currently 3:34 and my childrens are awake and acting like they have slept 20 straight hours thanks to my stupidity at dinner and allowing the smallest amount of caffeine ever.

And of course, neither of them could have just nicely crawled into our bed and snuggled up preciously while whispering, “I love you mom, you are the most beautiful and delightful woman in all the land.”

OH NO. They have to wake me with such a startle it’s uncertain I’ll ever be able to sleep again.

First Ryder decided to YELL AS LOUD AS SHE COULD right in my face to wake me -“HEY MAMA IS IT MORNING YET?!” 

It was like a fog horn to my soul at 2:20am.

Then after finally getting her back to bed and falling pleasantly back to sleep, Rory decides to do what she does best and scare the life out of me.

This particular time she decides to stand in the hall outside of our bedroom and whisper, “hellooooo anyone awake??????” Of course I thought I was hearing things and tried to brush it off. Then she decides to move to the end of the bed and stare creepily while continuing to whisper until I feel her presence. Which also means until I am scared out of my dang mind.

I’ve come to realize that I’m truly afraid to close my eyes sometimes because of my own children. I mean, at any second they will be staring at me until I wake up over the side of the bed. Or better yet, they will blow in my face until I start throwing punches.

Rory’s sleep walking isn’t helping matters seeing as I find her in random places staring off like the girl on The Ring. 

After the stair incident it took me a solid week to be able to sleep. True story right there.

In other news, yesterday Rory had her first ever day on purple which is the best behavior color you can get on. Her teacher brought her out to the car to tell me and all three of us had a dance party right there in the carpool line. 

To celebrate we took her to eat Mecican food (cheese dip as her meal, of course) and invited some friends to come celebrate with us. Rory declared it the Best Purple Day Ever. 

 We are also taking her to the jump park this weekend sometime because she’s earned enough “points” with good behavior to go!

Speaking of earning, we have started a chore chart of sorts and for every thing they do without complaining they get paid. Rory is extremely motivated by money so she has been a cleaning fool. She has been cleaning her room, the upstairs hallway and bathroom, dusting the entire house, and helping with laundry. Last week she earned $3 and this week she has been cleaning without me even reminding her to do so and doing extra chores. You better believe she isn’t forgetting either because while trying to get her back to sleep tonight she said, “hey y’all better not forget to pay me – you owe me about $12 at this point.” I believe we may have created a monster.

Ryder is hit or miss on this- she has a hard time not going to her room to “clean” but instead getting wrapped up in her own world and playing instead. Then by the time she realizes she has to actually clean she is so tired from playing she ends up having a meltdown and therefore losing her chance at money for that day. Bless.

Last week was fall break and we worked it out so perfectly that I’m going to try and plan it this way every year. My parents came down Sunday through Wednesday and Andys parents came Thursday through Sunday. It was the perfect way for the girls to spend fall break.

The Friday before fall break I was at Rory’s school when she came over to me and told me she tooted but a little poop came out. BLESS. There is nothing worse than sharting at school. I didn’t think anything of it and she acted fine so we went on with our day. That night she ate 4 pieces of pizza, which if you know Rory you know that is hands down the most she’s ever eaten at one meal. Well around 2am we wake up to the news that she had thrown up. She ended up throwing up twice in 24 hours. I’m still uncertain as to whether it was a stomach bug or what because no one else got it and she seemed perfectly fine the entire time. HOWEVER I was still a complete basket case because I knew my parents were coming and I was absolutely devestated thinking they wouldn’t be able to come. Luckily everyone else stayed well and she was perfectly fine. 

We had a great time going to the aquarium and to the Red Clay park. The girls had about 5 million tea parties and we played Head Bandz until we were out of tears from laughing so hard at Ryder and Rory playing the game.  

    
    
   
Andy and I even snuck in a date night while they were here. 

 Then on Thursday Andy’s parents came and the girls were surprised again. 

(The key to grandparent visits is to not tell them they are coming and let the door bell surprise them. There isn’t anything better than seeing them shocked that grandparents are at their door.)

Friday morning I drove to Jackson and spent some time with Telena and her family before going to a surprise birthday party for my friend Katie. 

Friday night was the party and it was so much fun catching up with old friends from high school and getting to know new friends. We rode to Memphis in a party bus which was so fun and had an amazing dinner at the Majestic Grille. 

 Saturday morning I woke up way too early and got on the road so I would be back home in time to get the girls ready for soccer. SEVEN hours later I made it just in time to watch 5 whole minutes of their game. It was the worst travel day EVER and I am so glad I was alone. Ha!

We went to dinner with Andy’s family after the game and strolled around the mall on Saturday. 

Then I went to bed at approximately 8:02. It had been too long of a 24 hours for me to function like a normal human being.

Andy’s parents headed out Sunday morning. I’m so thankful they came to help with the kids Friday so I could go to the party. The girls had a blast with both grandparents and they miss them so much already.

You should know that the entire family took 3 hour naps on Sunday and it delighted me so much I almost cried. There is nothing more glorious than a Sunday afternoon nap. Can I get an amen?!

Well. Now that I’ve bored you with the longest recap ever, I shall go. It is now 4:44 and Andy is snoring so loud he may rewake the girls and I may have to hurt him a little. 

Happy Tuesday! I’m praying I can find time to take a nap today!  

   


Hahahahahahahahahaha. Yeah right
. Like those stinkers would ever let that happen.

life updates: diy haircuts, boyfriend dilemmas, and new jobs

It has been a while since I did an overall life update here on the ol’ blog. It seems like any time I do it is to announce we are moving, ha! No worries, we are not moving!

I have already let you know that Rory has done a turnaround at school and is doing so well. We are still struggling some with the idea of “best friends” and that is a hard thing to teach and learn. She wants everyone to be her “best” friend and I’m trying to explain that she just needs to be friends with everyone. I can tell already how mean girls can be and there is one little girl in particular who is making her feel very insecure. I HATE this, but hope that she will learn that we should love everyone but choose our friends wisely. Even if that means she has to learn the hard way.

She also decided to cut her hair while at school. Have I told y’all this? The day of her class pictures I straightened her hair- well apparently it was falling in her face while she was trying to do her work so she just cut it off. All the way to the scalp. Here is a picture I took over the weekend. You can see the chunk at the very front.

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This is proof that once a stinker, always a stinker. And Rory sure is a stinker!

Ryder is blossoming at school this year. She is such a mess and so dramatic. I have no idea where she gets it from.

Today I volunteered at her school and finally met her “boyfriend” Ethan. You know- the one she came home declaring was her boyfriend and when I told her she couldn’t have a boyfriend because she was too young she packed her bags and declared she was going to live with grandparents. I am so looking forward to teenage years.

Well, we got into the car and I was asking her about school and she said very dramatically, “Momma, I have a problem!!!!!!”

Me: What is it?!

Ryder: Well see I have a school boyfriend, Ethan, and a church boyfriend, Tucker. And I just love them both SO MUCH and want them both to be my boyfriends but YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?! I just saw them BOTH at my school and that means they are gonna know I’m both of thems girlfriend! THEY ARE GONNA BE SO MAD AT ME, MOMMA!

……….

Ryder Harris, age 4. Already playing the boys and doubling up on the boyfriends.

She is my sister’s child. (If you know Telena you will chuckle because you know how true this is.)

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Again, teenage years are going to be so much fun.

 

I’m amazed at how different this season of life is having an elementary kid and a kid in full time (half day) PreK. Andy drives right by both schools and drop off time is just the time he goes to work so he has been taking the girls to school. I get up and get everyone ready and fed and then I get to stay home for 5 hours each morning. Let me tell you, our house has never been so clean. It is so strange to have all that time each day to myself. I can’t imagine next year when they are both in school full time.

Andy is absolutely loving his job. It is hard and he has more responsibility than ever, but he truly loves it. You have no idea what a relief this is to me. When we lived in Savannah it was really hard mostly because Andy’s work life was so hard. He never felt like he belonged and never felt respected there. He always had to watch his back and they pinned employees against each other in that company.

The company he works for now is so different from that mentality and he feels very much so supported and respected. He is so much more fun at home because he isn’t as stressed. His workload is more, but it is peaceful and enjoyable. I’m one happy wife.

Deer season just started too and that has made him a happy camper as well. Rory will be going with him this year quite a bit and they are both so excited about that. Ryder has gone to the lease some to “help” too, but she has already declared herself “over it”.

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Speaking of over it…..

We are in full swing of Upward Soccer. Ryder told us at the last game that her favorite part was sitting out. I mean, this is exactly how she looks every time she gets to sit out and take a break. Bless it.

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Y’all, life is really good right now. My girls are thriving and loving school. My husband is so happy at his job. I’ve found a new job that fits into my schedule and lifestyle. Things are just really good.

Now if only Ryder could decide between boyfriends everything would be perfect. 😉

Happy Wednesday!

#TBT: trip to the donut shop. (alt title: pregnant cravings were fierce)

Andy’s been without a car all week and today as I was driving home from dropping him off at work I started to literally laugh out loud at the memory of another time Andy was without a car.

Or actually I was without a car.

So here is a little Throwback Thursday story for you on this dreary Thursday.

Let me set the scene for you:

I was INSANELY pregnant with Rory. Like almost 8 months pregnant.

We lived in Pineville, Louisiana in the cutest little house you ever did see. I’m not even kidding. I still miss that tiny house all the time. It was our first bought home and we were madly in love with it.

For some reason or another we were down one car, so Andy just took the car to work because I had no job and we were actually already starting to pack for our move to Texas. So it was just me and my perfect house and I had no need for a car at all.

Except then I did.

You see, I rarely had a craving for anything other than watermelon when I was pregnant with Rory. I literally ate like 4 whole watermelons a week. Sometimes I would even sprinkle chocolate chips on my watermelon because I was a rebel like that.

I never ate meat. That is just a side note.

On this particular morning I was watching TV and a commercial came on.

A Dunkin’ Donuts commercial, to be exact.

I went into full anxiety attack, y’all.

I mean I legit went full on YOU BETTER GET ME A DONUT NOW OR I WILL MURDER SOMEONE mode.

The problem was that I didn’t have a car. And Andy couldn’t just leave work to get me a donut.

So I came up with a plan.

I found my favorite purse for traveling. Filled it with my phone and a water. Through it across my chest.

AND OFF I WENT.

We lived close to downtown Pineville so I knew it was like no big deal to walk to this amazing old donut shop just two roads over.

I mean, I had walked for hours in NYC every time I went so COME ON this would be a breeze.

…….

….

…………

Well.

Turns out the half mile max I thought it was turned out to be a leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettle more than what my pregnant brain remembered.

You see.

It was actually almost 3 miles to the donut shop.

THREE MILES. 8 MONTHS PREGNANT.

When I finally got to the donut place I literally practically fell into the store. There were only approximately 2380230923 old men sitting there staring at me like I had gone mental.

The lady behind the counter rushed over to me and started fanning me.

Then she said, “Honey, are you okay? Do you have a husband? PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE DID NOT ABANDON YOU AND YOU’VE BEEN WALKING FOR HOURS.”

I mean, she was ready for a TV drama to play out.

I told her that I had a craving and no car so I decided to walk. She asked where I lived. I told her. SHE STARTED HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER because she knew just how crazy it was.

So she brought me two chocolate donuts with sprinkles and a large chocolate milk just like I had been so desperately craving.

It was the absolute best meal I have ever eaten in my life.

I sat there for over an hour dreading the walk back to our house. Finally, I got up the nerve to go. The lady gave me her number in case I couldn’t make it. I will be forever thankful of that sweet woman for making me feel a little less crazy by telling me some stories of her own cravings while I ate those donuts.

I proceeded to walk home. It took FREAKING FOREVER to get home. Three people stopped to see if I needed a ride.

Before getting home I had only thrown up 7 times. I lost my precious donuts and all the dignity I had left (which was .1%).

I remember telling people that I knew about my adventure and all of them looked at me like a crazy person and laughed their heads off.

I walked 6 miles total for a craving.

WHO DOES THAT?!

In closing, I would like you all to know that Rory is still madly in love with chocolate donuts with sprinkles.

As she better be. I mean. The things I do for her!

Happy Throwback Thursday!

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summer is coming to an end.

If you would have told me a few years ago that I would get to the point where I could say that we have truly had the best summer ever, I would have laughed in your face. I mean, I can’t believe how fast time has gone now that I’m in this stage. I spent several summers inside with babies thinking that summer would never end. I mean I HATED summers. Last summer was fun, but this summer…… it was amazing.

Last week was our last official week of summer because today Ryder started PreK! Can you even believe that little baby who had to overcome so much is now a thriving PreK girl?! I can’t either. There were times I really didn’t think we would ever get here.11796458_10101829522154996_7770302727723680_n

The girls went to camp last week which was basically HEAVEN to me because I got to have four full days at home alone. I mean, that is a true vacation to a mama!

I’m going to be real honest with you people……

4 out of 4 days I took a nap.

A long, delicious nap.

OH YES I DID, SISTERS.

I did make myself do one productive thing each day. Just so I didn’t have to feel guilty.

The big thing I did though was closet purge! And I mean I got rid of more than half my clothes.

Before

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After- the giveaway pile.
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AND IT FEELS MARVELOUS.

I tried on every single item of clothing I own. If I didn’t LOVE it immediately I took it off and put it in a pile. I feel so much better about life right now and it is so much easier to pick what I’m going to wear each day!

I also made Andy do the same thing because, bless his heart, he has a hoarding problem.IMG_3398

He was thrilled.

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We also spent the week playing outside at night and having family game nights. Rory, Andy, and I take the game very seriously.IMG_3409

Clearly Ryder is serious about it too.IMG_3401

This weekend we went to Splash Country for our last big summer adventure.

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It was so crowded but we still had so much fun.

After our day at the water park, we went to the outlet mall to find some shoes for the girls. I thought this would be an easy task because clearly I am naive but OH NO. Honestly, I will just tell you that I didn’t think the girls could spend the entire day at the water park and then be able to shop for several hours but they did and only twice did Ryder tell us her legs couldn’t work anymore. That is a successful shopping trip if I ever heard of one.

The girls got new shoes and new jackets and a few clothes. They also entertained themselves and a whole lot of people that passed the window by pretending they were mannequins. It was hysterical.IMG_3537
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We went to approximately 47 shoe stores before heading to our last stop and finally finding the shoes that 1)fit – apparently every girl is in a size 12 because they were no where to be found and 2) met all the children’s requirements – weren’t too stiff, weren’t too soft, weren’t too pink, weren’t green, weren’t too girly but NOT boy-y at all.

I needed a strong drink by the time shoe shopping was over.

I meant a strong coffee, mother.

On our way out of Sevierville we stopped at Cracker Barrel to eat (it was 9pm and we were insanely delirious). All of a sudden Rory pulls out some of those try on hose/socks and puts them on her head. We, and about 10 surrounding tables, got a kick out of her and Ryder’s faces in them. Again, we were delirious and just cracked up until I couldn’t stop crying. It was just too much for me.IMG_3566 IMG_3569

I’m so sad to see our amazing summer come to an end, but I’m also so ready for the schedule and steadiness that comes with the school year. Rory and I have the week together while Ryder is at school and both of us are so excited for some one on one time.IMG_3665

where did the summer go? and a creepy child story

We have had one of those weeks where some days seemed long but now it is Friday and I don’t even know where the days have gone to.

Y’all.

Summer is almost over.

How did it happen so quickly?! Where did the summer go?!

I mean I literally cannot believe it is coming to an end. It has been the most fun summer ever. I need about 3 more weeks of pool time.

Next week the girls will be going to “camp” at church during the day. I won’t even know what to do with myself.

And then the next week is Ryder’s first week of PreK and then the next is Rory’s first week of Kindergarten.

MY BABIES ARE GROWING UP AND I CAN’T HANDLE IT RIGHT NOW.

In other news, I need a hobby.

Moving on!

When we last left off at my parents’ house last week I told you all about the fun we had. Well it got even better on Friday because my sister, Tasha, and her boys came in and we got to spend the day with them. It was way too short and I wish I could have seen them longer but I’m glad for the time we did have!

282 281 280Clayton and his wrestling moves. Ryder giggled the entire time, ha!

We spent last weekend with Andy’s family at the river. The girls had the time of their lives. Rory tubed by herself and Ryder tubed with anyone she could. The best part was spending time with Andy’s sister and her babies! The girls couldn’t get enough of Emma and Zoe!

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The ride home was amazing. They slept for a while which never happens. They didn’t want to watch a movie. They never asked for a snack or drink. They never asked for a bathroom break. It was amazing.714

Tuesday we went school shopping! We had the most fun. My little cuties were so excited and loved every second of picking out things. Rory found the most perfect folder for herself. 008She’s a stinker alright.

This is the part of the post where I tell you a creepy kid story.

The other night I was painting something in my living room –

(This is what I was painting. Why they painted it the same as the wall color I will never know.)026

 

After I got done I started up the stairs to turn the girls’ lights off.

As I head up the stairs I put my phone light up the stairs to see and when I looked up with the light I saw it….

A child standing at the top of the stairs staring down.

It was Rory, of course, BUT STILL. I was not prepared for that.

I ended up falling/sliding down 1/4th of the stairs and laying there trying to just breathe.

I mean. THAT CRAP SCARED ME.

I say to Rory, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU SCARED THE LIFE OUT OF ME CHILD!!!!!!!!!” (While holding my heart. Naturally.)

She says, “I can’t find Ryder, Mom. I just can’t find her.”

Me: Rory, she is in her bed.

Rory: *Still standing there all creepily* I just can’t find her, Mom.”

Bless it. She never even woke up.

I want you to know I didn’t sleep that night. I mean, I know it is my child, but there is nothing worse than getting scared out of your mind by a creepy little girl staring down the stairs. IT WAS THE WORST.

This morning I found her like this.088 089

Apparently sleep walking is our next adventure into the no sleep world.

Fun!

your typical outage update.

Today is finally (Allegedly) the last day of the outage.

Please, Lord, let it be true.

This has for sure been the hardest one for Andy. He’s worked longer hours (he’s nearing 100) and had more problems than normal. Worst of all, a contractor he has worked with before (but not on this particular job) fell from 30 ft and was killed. Andy has been so shaken up over it and we both are so sad for his family. 

It is hard to send your husband to work after something like that happens. 

Luckily for me, I had some awesome distractions! My parents and sister’s family came in for the weekend! It was so welcomed to get my mind off missing Andy and to help with the girls.

Friday was Andy and I’s 11th wedding anniversary. He was so sweet and got me an “outage survival kit” with cokes, chocolate, magazines, and a Starbucks gift card. He knows the way to my heart! 

On Friday my parents and sister got to Chattanooga approximately 5 hours before I thought they would – ha! I was so glad though! We met at Coolidge park and spent the afternoon playing there. Then we came home and had my aunt and cousins over for dinner. We told old stories and laughed until we were certain we would be sore the next day. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in life better than that.

Saturday we woke up and headed to Benton Falls which isn’t too far from our house. We hiked the mile and a half there and back and Ryder’s legs worked the whole way. Miracle! We swam at the lake and picnicked. It was such a beautiful, fun day.  

   

We came home and grilled out and stuffed our faces and had a lazy night at home. Oh. And we celebrated my upcoming 16th birthday. Okay, okay. Jacy is turning 16 and I’m turning 20. 

 Sunday morning Telena and Josh left early so we decided to have a lazy day with my parents. We went to lunch and played on the slip-n-slide. Note to self: it hurts at almost 30 20 to go down the slide. 

It was such a fun weekend and I wish it didn’t go by so fast. We missed Tasha and her kids and Andy the whole weekend. Hopefully we can all get together soon.

Yesterday we started noticing that the house was getting warm. Every second seemed hotter. 

Then we realized the air was not working. At all.

Because WHY WOULD THE AC WORK LONGER THAN TWO WEEKS IN OUR NEW HOME?!!!!!! And WHY WOULDN’T IT QUIT DURING OUTAGE WEEK?!

So I wallowed in despair this morning for a minute and then I perked up with a trip to Starbucks and Target. Ah, yes. Much better now. 

 Hopefully I will have my air back today and have a happier post tomorrow. 

Until then I will fix my thoughts on this fact: 

 Can I get an “amen”?!

I’m going down!

I feel as though the last two weeks have been a complete blur. 

And I currently cannot move I am so sore from ALL THE STAIRS.

Last week I ended up having to go to the doctor for a hangnail.

I know. I KNOW. So random. So gross. So embarrassing. So frustrating because I NEVER go to the doctor so it has to be bad.

Well, they had to cut it open. He says that first he’s going to spray it with a freeze thing and then cut it. 

Y’all. I could not have been prepared for the pain. 

The freeze part was probably the worst. And then when he cut I couldn’t handle life anymore.

So much so that when it happened I said, “oh crap! Everything is black! I think I’m passing out! I’m going down!” 

And out I went. OUT LIKE A LIGHT.

Unfortunately I passed out 2 more times that day from pain. No joke. Blood and all that doesn’t bother me. It was from sheer pain.

I told the doctor that I would rather be having a baby than doing that. Ha!

So the pain and misery of that lasted way longer than I wanted but I seem to have healed up fine.

Except my ego is still bruised from waking up to nurses and the doctor laughing hysterically over my proclamation of, “I’m going down!”

As you know, we closed on our house Monday. And we have been overwhelmed with the moving process all week. 

The only downside to our home is that the garage is in the basement. So you can imagine the stairs involved to get up to the girls’ room upstairs. My butt muscles are ragey right now. Not a sentence I thought I’d ever type. 

I also bought so much paint to paint all the rooms in the entire house. And I’ve painted Rory’s room and am thinking the beige/brown color is looking better and better in some of the other rooms. 

The poor children are so tired of going here and there and back and forth. Rory has informed me she doesn’t want to leave the house for “a hundred days”. I don’t either.

Of course, she said she would be willing to leave for Disney World. 

Today I woke up to the realization that we had not even begun to touch the ENTIRE STORAGE UNIT FULL OF BOXES AND FURNITURE. I literally almost wept. 

Instead, I got on groupon and hired movers. Then I called Andy and informed him of my actions. 

I feel like, in this case, asking for forgiveness will come easy when he realizes what I’m saving him from. Because if my glutes are ragey, Andy’s are sure hating him in the worst of ways. He has moved 3/4 of the apartment alone. All of this moving has been done after his long work days too. He is an incredible man. Tired, incredible man.

But sometimes he is also cheap and I am not. Therefore I will hire the movers and he will end up loving me more for saving him the time and trouble.

The end.

softball, twerking. same thing.

This week has partially flown by and drug on.

I’m not sure if it is a full moon or PMS settling in early on the girls or what but MERCY. Attitudes and fighting have been in full force this week and IT IS MAKING ME A LITTLE INSANE.

Or maybe the walls are closing in on us.

Yesterday I set Rory up to color and set Ryder up to play barbies and it was the most blissful hour we have had in a long while. Sometimes it seems we are just a little too close all.the.time.

You will be delighted to know that IT IS MAY which means IT IS THE MONTH THAT WE GET A HOUSE which means YOU ONLY HAVE 18 MORE DAYS TO HEAR ME COMPLAIN ABOUT THE APARTMENT.

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Makes me giggle every time.

Now, I know all of you are DYING to know more about me playing softball. Heh.

We have played really well this week- our spirits are way up after the first game playing the team who wouldn’t even attempt to swing a bat.

Last night we even *gasp* WON A GAME.

I’m gonna be honest, I was a little worried when we showed up last night as to how the games would go. Several people attempted to pitch and …. let us just say I almost peed my pants from laughing while watching the “practice”.

My friend, Amber- y’all know Amber…. she’s the only friend I talk about on here because until recently she’s been my ONLY friend, ha!- decided to attempt it and we were all like YESSSSSS because she was good! She had never pitched before last night and she was so good. I’m totally impressed. She’s not only crafty as heck, homeschools, and runs a travel agency… she can also pitch. SHE IS THE DEFINITION OF A PROVERBS 31 WOMAN.

(Amber is now rolling her eyes.)

Well, I was asked to catch which I thought, yeah I can do that- NBD. Like whatev! Of course I can. Pshhhhhh.

Y’all.

Catching with no protective gear is no joke. I have three large leg bruises to prove it.

But more so than that….. THE SQUATTING. I basically did squats non stop for an hour. Needless to say, I AM HURTING TODAY.

The second problem with catching is this…

I’ve got people I barely know and then people I do know like Amber’s dad and husband sitting behind home plate. Here are the thoughts running through my head.

1- I will channel Sir Mix-A-Lot when I say:

Oh, my, gosh. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. [scoff]
She looks like one of those rap guys’ girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those rap guys? [scoff]…

I mean, her butt, is just so big.
I can’t believe it’s just so round, it’s like, out there, I mean— gross. 

(Yes I realize I left out some of it…. 99% of you will know it by heart and not have to read anyway.)

2- Twerking.

You see the problem with having a big butt is no matter what you do, when you bend… it looks like you’re trying to twerk.

Stop laughing. I’m being serious here.

And the biggest problem with catching is that THE UMP IS ALL UP ON YOU LIKE WE ARE IN THE CLUB OR SOMETHING.

No kidding. Every time I bent over or got up to catch a ball I felt as though I was twerking on him.

IT WAS WEIRD.

I mean. Softball. Twerking. SAME THING BASICALLY.

So not only is catching physically hard- IT IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY EXHAUSTING.

It is pretty scary where my mind goes, isn’t it?

Aren’t you glad you aren’t me?

The girls are out of school today and I’ve had to stop writing this blog 2300 times because FOR THE LOVE THEY WON’T STOP FIGHTING.

I’m thinking of locking them in their room and letting them have at it while I sip some coffee.

Good parenting, right?

People say boys are rough…. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Girls not only fight like boys but there is also emotional and psychological warfare too.

“YOU’RE NEVER BEING MY BEST FRIEND AGAIN!”

“I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU PLAY ELSA ANYMORE!”

“YOU CAN’T WEAR MY TUTUS EVER AGAIN!”

I’m gonna need a xanax with this coffee if they don’t calm it down.

I have a fun interview today so send prayers that I can get a conversation in without being interrupted. We all know that a mother on the phone is like a moth to a flame. I’ll let you know how it goes and more details soon hopefully!

We have lots of really fun things going on this weekend and I can’t wait to spend some time out in the sun! Hopefully Rory will decide to play soccer instead of do a dramatic reenactment this weekend because she has some special people coming to surprise her at her game tomorrow!

Happy Weekend!

You are sports people, I is not.

Our lives have been taken over by all-of-the-sports this past week.

Rory has had soccer, and by the way, SHE IS ROCKING IT. Though, on defense she has more of a flare for the dramatics than a flare for actually getting the ball. But man. On offensive that girl is fierce.

Sunday afternoon Andy went and played golf with some guys from the Sunday School class. That left me to go to soccer games alone with the girls. I survived, barely, in case you were wondering.

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Ryder felt the need to run out onto the field and turn around and look at me like, “what? am I doing something wrong here?” before freaking out thinking someone would bring a ball near her and running back to the sideline. She also ate approximately 17 snacks- including bumming one from someone sitting next to us while I was yelling at Rory to stop twirling and GET THE DANG BALL FROM THE OTHER PLAYER BEFORE THEY SCORE.

Not that I am one of THOSE intense soccer moms or anything………..

I call it passion. I’m not intense. I’m passionate.

Yours truly has also gotten back into “the sports” and has joined a softball team.

Last week we played a team that under no circumstance at all would ever swing the bat. When you are playing church league and start off with one ball and one strike already- the odds are in your favor to get walked. So they feed off of that. They literally never swung. It was pretty miserable and, in my opinion, absolutely crappy sportsmanship.

I am extremely competitive and “passionate” but I’m there to play and HAVE FUN. So last night we had another game and we had A STINKING BLAST. We didn’t win. But we PLAYED. Both teams played hard and had so much fun. I’m excited about the season now!

This morning Ryder asked me about the game (it was at 8:30pm so they stayed home) and I told her how it went.

Then she said to me, “You are sports people, I is not.” And I laughed until I almost wet myself because BLESS IT she is so right. She is surrounded by people who enjoy all things sports to the highest level. At least she knows herself and has no qualms about not being “sports people”.

In other news, Rory was sent home with a sheet that told how high she could count unassisted. The answer was 49. She saw me look at it and she said, “Mom, don’t even look at that. That number is unacceptable. I can count over 100 and we know it. I just gotta practice some more.”

And practice she has done. She has counted to 100 all day, every day. In fact, last night she came into my room at 2:53am and whispered, “Mom! Hey mom! I just counted to 129! I can count even higher than 100!” Bless.

I will say this a million times over her life, I am sure of it- Rory is MOTIVATED. I’m telling y’all. I’ve never met anyone as motivated as her and her daddy. She completely 1000000% gets that from Andy. She decided that 49 was unacceptable and immediately started practicing until she beat her own goal. It is just little things like this that make me so proud of her.

Last night at dinner I told Rory to get her hair out of her face so she didn’t get food in it. As you can imagine, this was followed by the most dramatic hair flip OF LIFE. Andy and I got tickled over it.

Then she did it a few more times, because there is nothing more important than getting the perfect hair flip. I’m telling you- she is motivated.

She then says to us, “when I have a boyfriend, I’m going to flip my hair like this and he’s gonna be like WOW. YOU LOOK GOOD.” I nearly spit my food out. Andy and I were in tears from laughing. She has got it all figured out, hasn’t she?

The boxing up of all the things has begun and I have felt this cleaning bug in a huge way. So I’ve been cleaning out filing cabinets, closets, makeup drawers, and pretty much anything I deem NOT ORGANIZED. I’m a woman on a mission. I refuse to move CRAP. Especially because we will be moving ourselves this time. *sob wail sob*

TWENTY MORE DAYS! I’m not going to know what to do with all my time when I have 3 toilets to choose from instead of waiting on a chance to use it. I mean I might even *GASP* get to lock myself in and go alone.

DREAMS DO COME TRUE, PEOPLE.

Happy Tuesday!

 

finally a soccer mom

The dream has happened. It is finally soccer season which means…

I am finally a soccer mom.

*Insert spirit fingers.*

This is not something I anticipated being so excited about. I played soccer until 9th grade (would have played longer but our high school didn’t have a soccer team…… #smallschoolproblems), but softball was my thing. I don’t even think I was better at softball over soccer at all. I just think I went into HS knowing that I wanted to play and make a difference on a very, very young and new team. I don’t know if I did that or not but I sure did try.

Side note: I also think I was determined to play softball and hopefully be decent at it because my middle school coach told me that I “just wasn’t a star” and “probably should pick another sport”. Nothing gets a McIntire fired up like telling them you can’t do it.

Okay back on track. Whew. That was a tangent wasn’t it?!

When we signed Rory up for soccer I realized HOW MUCH I WANTED HER TO PLAY. She played Tball last year and I knew then that it probably wasn’t her sport. She got bored and there wasn’t enough constant hustle for her. (If she wants to play later when she has more patience we sure will go that route.) Before her first practice I just thought that soccer would be right up her alley.

And I was so right.

Rory is a hustler. When I tell you she is fast I mean SHE IS LIKE A LIGHTENING BOLT.

Saturday was Rory’s first game and she did amazing. She scored 5 goals and had great control of the ball. She was so cute with her ponytail and uniform. She would look over at us and give a big thumbs up.

IMG_5233 IMG_5289 IMG_5267 IMG_5269 FullSizeRender 2 FullSizeRenderSunday’s game was a bit different. We had some attitude problems and just didn’t have our head in the game. I’m suspecting it was because she was up THE ENTIRE NIGHT on Saturday. But what do I know about life?

Ryder is not what we would call an “outdoor person”. (Understatement of the century.) So keeping her happy during the games is a bit tricky. She has been packing her purse with snacks to bring and a drink. But I’m thinking I’m going to need to bring an umbrella and a personal fan for her too because OH MY WORD I CANNOT HANDLE THE COMPLAINING.

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(In fact, complaining was at an all time high on Sunday from both girls that I said ENOUGH ALREADY and took away the TV until further notice.)

One thing you can be sure of though, my girls are die hard fans of each other. Rory is always encouraging Ryder to try new things and to push herself. I am always so proud of Rory and her encouraging spirit, especially towards her sister.

And this weekend the tables turned and Ryder got her chance at encouraging Rory and SHE BLEW IT OUT OF THE WATER. Ryder cheered for Rory so hard I thought she was going to pass out. She jumped and cheered and yelled, “GO WHOA-WY!!!!!!!!!!!!” over and over again.

I do believe the pride I have in my children was at an all-time high on Saturday. Between Rory doing so awesome and Ryder cheering her on- I JUST BEAMED LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. There was nothing you could do to wipe that silly grin of pride off my face.

Somehow I managed to get the best part on camera. I mean I couldn’t have planned this even if I tried.

I’m so excited to see how the season turns out. Rory was back on her game last night at practice, so I’m hoping Sunday was a no-sleep fluke.

And maybe one day I will turn the TV back on for the children.