Category: Ryder Amelia

a letter to Mrs. Janice on the last day of PreK.

Mrs. Janice,

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I typed your name and tears of thankfulness and love are already flowing down my cheeks. I have dreaded this day for so long. The last day of PreK for Ryder. I cannot believe it is here.

You know I wouldn’t be so sad if it weren’t for the fact that the preschool were closing. I mean, I would definitely be sad that we wouldn’t see you next year all the time, but this has such a gut-wrenching finality to it that is so hard to bear.

Today I just want to tell you how much you have meant to me, and I am 1000% sure what you have meant to other moms and dads in Cleveland.

When we found out we were moving to Cleveland, I got on my face and begged God to show me where to send Rory to PreK. She had been torn down and beaten up at another preschool and so had I. I was so tired and weary. I knew that I needed to pray for direction on where to send her in a town where we knew no one. There is not a single doubt in my mind that God led me straight to Weekday because He wanted you as Rory’s teacher.

I want you to know that you completely changed our lives, Janice. Your unconditional love towards Rory and encouragement brought my girl back to life. You put her spunk back in her. I will never be able to thank you enough for encouraging her to be Rory and not some other version of herself. I sent her to school every day with you knowing that she would be loved, hugged, laughed at/with, and shown compassion to. I can’t tell you how many happy tears I have cried over the last two years because I knew my babies were loved so well.

Rory went to Kindergarten with a fierceness and a confidence that would not have happened without your love on her.

Thank you for changing Rory’s life.

The best part is that I also got to send my baby to you. I will never forget Ryder counting down the days until she got in your class.  I was counting down the days too. I knew she would be so well loved and encouraged.

Now. We both know Ryder needs a little kick in her pants encouragement to actually do her work, unlike Rory. Thank you for having so much patience with her and encouraging her. The other day we were working on Ryder’s letters and sounds and she told me, “Mama, you are not as nice and calm as Mrs. Janice is when she works with me.” I got a good laugh out of how much truth was in that statement. Thank you for teaching her and encouraging her.

She has also grown in confidence and matured so much under your care. Ryder will go to Kindergarten with confidence and sass because of you.

Thank you for loving me, too. You’ve seen my faults and seen me in some dark times the past two years. Thank you for your love and encouragement with my miscarriage. It meant the world to me.

Janice, I want you to know on this last day that you are a world changer. I know that your job  might seem so small some days and that it seems silly to think of yourself as a world changer. But you are.

You changed my world and the world of two little girls. You gave all of us exactly what we needed the past two years- love. I cannot think of another person on earth as loving as you. You have loved us so well.

I know that I am not alone in thinking this. Several of the moms from your class and I have talked about how devastated we are that the school is closing and that you won’t be there anymore. It is so important that you know that because we don’t want you to think we don’t care or that we don’t feel outraged/sad/disappointed in this decision to close the school. There are too many amazing teachers there to be able to understand why the school has to close. I hate there isn’t better closure for all of us, but especially you and the staff at school.

I just want to make sure you know on this last day that the school closing as no reflection on you.

You are an absolutely light and joy in this community and world. You have made my days brighter and you have certainly made my girls’ days brighter.

I am eternally grateful to you for loving my children and loving me so well these last two years. I am praying that God shows you exactly what your next step should be. I know your days changing the lives of parents and children are not over.

The Harris girls love you so very much, Janice. Don’t ever forget it.

First Baptist Weekday has been such a blessing to my family. It is a sad mistake that they are closing it. I am praying blessings over each teacher because they deserve better and so many students need to be blessed by them like I have been. Rory and Ryder had such a wonderful time there and have made such great friends! Thank you for the last two years and what a difference you have made over the decades you were open.image2 image1 image3

Oh, Ryder. I cannot believe how much you have grown this year!

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the new {shared} big girl room

As soon as the girls left for school this morning I started working on their new room to get it finished up today! It has been two and a half weeks since the shared room process started and I was more than ready to finally get it together!

This is what it looked like when they left (and what it looked like two nights ago when we put the beds together!)- the rest of the room was a disaster of CRAP EVERYWHERE: 
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Can you tell they were excited about their new beds?!

And here is their finished shared big girl bedroom!

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I got their reaction on video too! After I turned it off Rory hugged me and told me she just loved it so much! There is absolutely NOTHING better than making my home pretty for my girls. I can’t wait for all the fun they will have in their new room!

Bedding: Target

Monkey’s Sign: Hobby Lobby

Unicorn Head: Target

Beds: Walmart

 

the squirrel went to church….

So yesterday I got Ryder from school and she tells me this elaborate story about how a squirrel jumped on her back.

Considering the fact that the day before she told me that Miss Janice wasn’t there at school and they just did school alone and Ryder taught the class all day, I felt this was for sure a lie.

I mean. A squirrel jumped on your back? Yeah right.

Well about 30 minutes later I get a text from her teacher and she said, “crazy squirrel really did jump on Ryder’s back”. I literally could not stop laughing. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?!

I’ve had a pretty sad week. Sometimes thinking so much about Ryder’s start to life is still so hard for me. And then it was grandparents day and that is always such a sad day for me because I miss mine so much. I hate that Rory and Ryder never met my Grandmother and Grandaddy because I know they would have eaten them up. I can see my Granddaddy throwing his head back in laughter at them if he were here.

So the squirrel came at just the right time because one of my favorite memories is watching the Ray Stevens VHS with my Granddaddy every single time (multiple times) I went to their house.

If watching that video doesn’t perk you up, I don’t know what will. It certainly helped perk me up.

You should know I’m watching this laughing out loud. It never gets old. I will be showing this to my girls as soon as they get home today.

In other news, I want to give a small update and let y’all know that Rory and school are meshing much better these days. I’ll write a post on this later, but I’ve had a lot of questions about it so wanted to let you know its getting better!

This past weekend was the girls’ first soccer game! They were so sweet cheering each other on. I love how encouraging they are to each other- it is one of my favorite things.

Both girls played so good- Rory is a little powerhouse when she wants to be and Ryder is hilarious to watch.

You see, bless it, she is quite clumsy. She tripped so many times I couldn’t keep count. She also has her head in the clouds and we would have to yell at her to remember she was playing soccer, ha! When she is paying attention she really is quite good. Andy and I were shocked the first practice. She gets overwhelmed in the games because there are so many going after the same ball, but she gets in there and tries hard.

Their team is a bunch of rascals, to be honest. I feel bad for the coach who is a friend of ours because he has his hands full this year. Hopefully they will get it together and each week will be better.

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Nope. The ball is to your right, sweetpea.
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That booty pop tho.
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Get it, girl!
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Prayer time before the game. So very precious. Look how tiny Ryder is.

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I’m so impressed with Upward (this is our first experience with it) and the way 1st baptist puts it on.

Oh, and also, Ryder’s legs did indeed work the entire time. However, every time she came off the field for a break she would get all excited and say, “IS IT OVER?! IS IT TIME FOR SNACK?!!!!!” And each time we said no she would say, “awwwww man.” hahaha! Bless it.

But seriously- who would have ever thought 4 years ago that the struggling baby would be able to run and play soccer? Oh I am so thankful.

This morning Rory and I were praying before school. It was her turn to pray and she said the sweetest prayer:

“Dear God, thank you for this day. Thank you for everything you’ve given us. Watch over us. God thank you for Ryder’s heart and for giving me such a great sister. Help us both to have good days today.

*long pause*

And Lord, Help these awful toots go away because I sure don’t want to be pooting all day at school.”

After the prayer she says to me, “You know Mom, we can ask Jesus for anything. Nothing is too little or too big so I’m sure he can take the toots away.”

HA HA HA. Amen, sister!

Happy Thursday!

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Ryder’s 4th Heart-iversary

The funny thing about traumatic events in your life is that sometimes the years go by and you feel numb to it, and then some years you can’t escape going down the rabbit hole and having some serious meltdowns.

This year, meltdowns.

You see, this is the first year I’ve had the facebook “on this day” memories thing and time hop. So every day I’m flooded with the memories of what went down with Ryder and how critical the situation was and how desperate I was for a miracle to avoid the surgery.

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More than that, I am just once again completely overwhelmed with gratitude for my friends. I was planning to screen shot all of the messages I got asking for prayers for Ryder to post here but there was so many I couldn’t possibly do that. I had people from all over the country praying for my precious Ryder.

My friends and family rescued me from drowning during that time in my life. I felt sure I would never, ever see the other end of this constant health battle with Ryder. My sister called and told me to take Ryder to the cardiologist early- she literally saved her life and mine doing that.

When I started to doubt and sink, a friend would send me a verse or pray over me. So many times they watched Rory for me. They fed us, cleaned our house, and poured life into us when we felt we couldn’t fight anymore. They breathed life into me and stepped in to make sure my family was taken care of when I couldn’t do more than just try to get Ryder to eat a few ounces in a day.

Andy stepped in like a rock and took care of things I didn’t even know he knew how to do! I never worried about Rory’s well being because between Andy and my friends I knew she was having the time of her life and was well taken care of. He kept going to work for long hours and then would drive to Dallas to stay the night. He never complained and I know he was just as terrified and helpless as I was.

My mom came and stayed for longer than she needed to and left an important job behind to care for Rory and help Andy and I. She cleaned my house and fed everyone and made sure I didn’t have to think twice about anything but Ryder. I will never, ever be able to thank her enough for this.

Andy’s parents and my mom and dad all came for the surgery and waited for us. We laughed and cried and all of them being there gave us such an overwhelming peace for all those hours of surgery.

Basically, today I am just thankful. So unbelievably thankful.

The thing I’ve come to realize is that all of those friends and family members and random strangers who prayed so hard for a miracle in Ryder became Jesus to us in the flesh. He used each of you to breathe for us when we couldn’t anymore. He used you to hold our heads above the water.

So, thank you my beautiful friends. 

Thank you for stepping in for me when I didn’t even know I needed help. Thank you for being patient through all my tears. Thank you for listening to my darkest fears. Thank you for holding my hand and praying for my child’s life. Thank you for showing others what it is like to have Christians come together for good and pray with one another- what a witness you were to so many!

Thank you for loving me through the hardest time of my life. I will never, ever get over that. You saved me in so many ways when I could not possibly see any light in the darkness.

If I could hug each of you and step in and be the friend you were to me I would in a heartbeat. I can only hope I am half the friend, sister, daughter, mother that you all were to me.

You guys changed my life and impacted me more than you will ever know.

And look at the miracle girl you all prayed so hard for. She’s beautiful, kind, and hilarious. She is still always, always smiling. She is a product of the power of prayer and I hope none of you will never forget your part in her life. I sure know I won’t.

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We love you so much and are so thankful for all of you. We wouldn’t be where we are without you.

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“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” Isaiah 26:3 IMG_5963

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“Yep, got played by a 4 year old.”

Since Rory’s school is starting later than normal the first week and she actually had the day off today for staggered enrollment, Andy took Ryder to school yesterday.

Mainly because Rory was still asleep at 7:20 which was shocking enough but then she ended up sleeping until 8:37. DID YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY?! YES YOU DID. I’m telling you. It is a miracle.

At 8:10 I got a text from Andy that read, “Ryder won’t let go of me and is screaming that she wants to go home.”

I immediately called him and told him to throw her at a teacher and run. He then says he feels bad. I then say get over it. My love language is not mercy sometimes.

He called me back to tell me that she screamed and kicked and that he sat down with her for TWENTY MINUTES to try and calm her down.

I was secretly giggling on the other end because I knew what was happening here.

Just to be sure, I sent a text to her teacher to ask how Ryder was.

Here is the conversation we had:

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I don’t think I stopped laughing for a good thirty minutes. “Yep got played by a four year old,” will be my favorite saying from now on.

Poor Andy. He just didn’t know how to be swift and efficient at the drop off. I mean, I basically open the door kick her forward and run outta there.

Kidding! I give her a hug before kicking her in the school. I’m not a savage, gah.

This just goes to prove that daddies are truly suckers when it comes to their little girls.

And that moms who are desperate for the tiny amount of time alone while their 4 year olds are at school  are vicious creatures who need coffee and quiet.

CAN I GET AN AMEN?!

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All kidding aside, it has been a hard week for my Ryder. Monday after school I had to take her to get her blood drawn. If you’ve been reading here a while you know just how big of a task this is. It took 45 minutes to get the amount of blood needed because her blood doesn’t flow well. (I liken it to pouring the last drop of syrup or molasses out of the container.)IMG_4066

Ryder has had some pretty bad thyroid numbers for a year now. She didn’t gain any weight this year and has such terrible spells of drowsiness and feeling lethargic and her hair hasn’t grown much either. So HOPEFULLY this was the last blood draw for a while and it will give us the answers we need to start her on some meds and lifestyle changes to help with the issue.

Holding her down for 45 minutes while she sobbed was incredibly hard for me. It is torture to both of us. I told the doctor that he would need to do everything he could this time because we weren’t doing that again for a while. She’s had a lot of blood work done over this last year and it is now to the point where we need a break. 45 minutes is an eternity to a kid. And though you all know I try my hardest to be positive and encouraging- sometimes I just can’t be. It sucked so bad. The worst part to me was that the nurses (and I always LOVE nurses and think they are the greatest people on the planet) had the nerve to yell at her and at me because they were having a hard time getting the blood. As if we wanted to make it take longer.

We walked out, both sobbing and clinging to each other, and Ryder looked at me with those gorgeous green eyes filled with tears and said, “Momma, please please don’t make me do that again.”

Ugh, I just started crying again just thinking about it.

Today we dropped Rory off for her first day at Kindergarten with her whole class. She will go every day now and is so excited. Ryder, on the other hand, realized that Rory would be away all day and she had a breakdown. I failed to talk about it more with her and I feel terrible about it. She had to be pried off of Rory finger by finger and it was the sweetest, saddest thing I’ve ever seen. They truly are the very best of friends.

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finally a soccer mom

The dream has happened. It is finally soccer season which means…

I am finally a soccer mom.

*Insert spirit fingers.*

This is not something I anticipated being so excited about. I played soccer until 9th grade (would have played longer but our high school didn’t have a soccer team…… #smallschoolproblems), but softball was my thing. I don’t even think I was better at softball over soccer at all. I just think I went into HS knowing that I wanted to play and make a difference on a very, very young and new team. I don’t know if I did that or not but I sure did try.

Side note: I also think I was determined to play softball and hopefully be decent at it because my middle school coach told me that I “just wasn’t a star” and “probably should pick another sport”. Nothing gets a McIntire fired up like telling them you can’t do it.

Okay back on track. Whew. That was a tangent wasn’t it?!

When we signed Rory up for soccer I realized HOW MUCH I WANTED HER TO PLAY. She played Tball last year and I knew then that it probably wasn’t her sport. She got bored and there wasn’t enough constant hustle for her. (If she wants to play later when she has more patience we sure will go that route.) Before her first practice I just thought that soccer would be right up her alley.

And I was so right.

Rory is a hustler. When I tell you she is fast I mean SHE IS LIKE A LIGHTENING BOLT.

Saturday was Rory’s first game and she did amazing. She scored 5 goals and had great control of the ball. She was so cute with her ponytail and uniform. She would look over at us and give a big thumbs up.

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Ryder is not what we would call an “outdoor person”. (Understatement of the century.) So keeping her happy during the games is a bit tricky. She has been packing her purse with snacks to bring and a drink. But I’m thinking I’m going to need to bring an umbrella and a personal fan for her too because OH MY WORD I CANNOT HANDLE THE COMPLAINING.

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(In fact, complaining was at an all time high on Sunday from both girls that I said ENOUGH ALREADY and took away the TV until further notice.)

One thing you can be sure of though, my girls are die hard fans of each other. Rory is always encouraging Ryder to try new things and to push herself. I am always so proud of Rory and her encouraging spirit, especially towards her sister.

And this weekend the tables turned and Ryder got her chance at encouraging Rory and SHE BLEW IT OUT OF THE WATER. Ryder cheered for Rory so hard I thought she was going to pass out. She jumped and cheered and yelled, “GO WHOA-WY!!!!!!!!!!!!” over and over again.

I do believe the pride I have in my children was at an all-time high on Saturday. Between Rory doing so awesome and Ryder cheering her on- I JUST BEAMED LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. There was nothing you could do to wipe that silly grin of pride off my face.

Somehow I managed to get the best part on camera. I mean I couldn’t have planned this even if I tried.

I’m so excited to see how the season turns out. Rory was back on her game last night at practice, so I’m hoping Sunday was a no-sleep fluke.

And maybe one day I will turn the TV back on for the children.

 

 

is it still the spring break?!

Ryder has had a hard time grasping the whole Spring Break thing this week.

About every 10 minutes she runs to me and excitedly asks, “Is it still the spring break?!”

Bless.

I will admit that I wasn’t exactly looking forward to spring break. But as it has turned out, we have had a really awesome week. The weather has been GLORIOUS every single day and we have spent 99% of our days outside. AND NOTHING IS BETTER THAN THAT, MY FRIENDS.

Bonus perk to spring break: Andy’s parents came in for a too quick trip and the girls got to stay in a hotel with them and swim and play until they were tuckered out. And I got a night of sleep! WINNING!

The only downside is that my children, especially Rory, have woken up too early every single morning. And Rory has HAD to do some sort of “homework” several times a day. Ryder just wants powdered donuts and a nap.

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Rory has also practiced the art of filling in her brows.

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Before we move on, I would like to give you a little flashback to Rory on spring break (or just in spring) circa 2011. WHERE DID MY CHUBBY BABY GO?!

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Spring Break 2015 started with a bang at Benton Falls last Saturday where we hiked a total of 3 miles and almost killed our children in the process.

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LEGS OFFICIALLY DON’T WORK.

IMG_4240You were wondering who was hiking with us????? Yes??? Oh no big deal, just like 40 nuns.

THAT’S RIGHT PEOPLE, WE HIKED WITH NUNS.

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Monday we went to the Chattanooga Zoo with my friend Amber and her boys Will, Thomas, and Lucas. Will and Rory have gotten to be big buds and it is SO CUTE. They just all of a sudden grew up so much.

IMG_4370 IMG_4377 IMG_4375Wednesday we went to the park for a bit and then we all took a 3 hour nap. OH YES WE DID.

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Thursday we were invited by a new friend in our new SS class to come dye Easter eggs! The girls had the best time ever and I had a great time getting to know a new friend.

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Today we finished out Spring Break ’15 with a girls day out to a movie and shopping at the mall. (DON’T WORRY DAVE IT WAS ONLY WINDOW SHOPPING, OKAY?!)

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Let me just tell you- this stage of life is 99% of the time A DELIGHT. I never thought I would get to the day where I could take the girls by myself to go see a movie at the theater and enjoy every second.

I mean I literally teared up at one point in the movie when I glanced over at them watching Cinderella with wide eyes and little grins. My beautiful, fun girls. I’m so thankful for this stage of life.

So here is a note to moms of littles that are close together- soon you will be able to enjoy that they are close and have so much fun with them. I promise. If I can make it you certainly can!

I have to say. I’m actually sad for spring break to be over! But at least this gave me encouragement for how fun summer will be! I am so looking forward to pool days and fun in the sun!

Happy Friday!

 

 

 

actually living.

About a week or so ago, I heard a remark somewhere (honestly cannot remember where I heard it) and it went something like this:

Are you actually living your life or are you living it through your phone?

Besides Instagram, despite what it might seem, I really don’t log onto social media much. I post everything through Instagram and then I occasionally get on the facebooks to give a status about my boringbuthilarious life. So it really isn’t the social media thing making me not live my life…

It is my camera.

I’ve lived a good part of my life now through the camera on my phone. Constantly trying to capture that perfect picture and spending time coming up with the perfect caption.

Now, don’t get me wrong… I don’t regret a single picture. I’m so proud and thankful I have captured so many details of our life through pictures because it sets our family up to never forget anything. I know my kids will immensely enjoy having so many pictures of them growing up. No one ever regrets taking too many pictures.

What I DO regret is the times I’ve been more concerned about taking the picture than with what is actually going on. I’ve missed out on a lot of fun and gotten frustrated for no reason because ALL I WANT IS A FREAKING PERFECT PICTURE or ALL I WANT IS TO CAPTURE THIS BEAUTIFUL (I think? because I’m not really living it…) MOMENT.

So, the past couple of weeks you’ve seen less pictures because I’ve “challenged” (hate that word, but whatever) myself to maybe give up a few pictures to actually LIVE in the moment instead of living through my phone.

Most of all, I want my children to remember me as a mom who enjoyed time with them and not remember me for only trying to get a picture to enjoy.

Is any of this making sense? Do any of you struggle with this as well?

So this post is, GASP, going to have a lot of very imperfect/not-so-good pictures. And, even more shocking, I AM OKAY WITH IT.

Last week we took a little mini-vacation to the Chattanooga area. To say we had a good time would be the understatement of the century.

Friday night we met with our friends Amber and Bill and their three boys for dinner in Downtown Chattanooga. It was so good to see them and see their boys. Amber and Bill went to my dad’s church when I was a freshman in college. They married a week after Andy and I and we have kept in touch (thank goodness for the internets!) ever since. We walked to the park by the river and let the kids play. It was so cute seeing them play together. Rory and Will (and Ryder a little bit) played tag and it was so cute. Amber is such a good, fun mom and you can so tell just being around her kids. They have great imaginations and are so fun.

(The “funny” thing about not taking so many pictures is that the girls did much better when I did want their pictures taken… interestingggg.)

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We did our normal Hotwire thing and stayed in the Chattanooga Choo Choo for about 1/4th the price you could book it online. HOLLA, Hotwire, HOLLA.

Now. I will say the hotel wasn’t a 4 star retreat. But it was clean and had great outdoor pools and the room was very large. So, what else do you need?

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The girls absolutely loved seeing the trains. They were so cute soaking it all in.

Rory was obsessed with “The Big City”. She kept saying, “Mom. When are we going to go back to The Big City? When can we go explore The Big City?” It was so cute.

One of their favorite parts of the entire trip was riding the free shuttle Chattanooga has that runs downtown. They seriously thought it was the.best.ever.

Saturday we rode the shuttle to the Tennessee Aquarium. The girls hadn’t been to a real aquarium before so I knew it would be really fun. But I had NO IDEA how awesome it would be to experience them seeing it and taking it all in. I just had no clue.

They were so cute and thrilled and EXCITED the entire time. Everything blew their minds. Watching them made me (and Andy!) laugh and giggle and it was just such an overwhelming blessing to see our kids enjoy something so much. I know it is just the aquarium but y’all don’t even understand. I literally cried watching them enjoy it so much. And because I kept my phone put up and on silent, I got to truly soak in every second of it.

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Their favorite part was the sharks for sure. Rory loved touching the sting rays too. It was such an awesome experience. I cannot wait to take them back, and now I’m definitely taking them to the Atlanta aquarium as soon as I can!

After the fun morning, we walked to Coolidge Park. Walking in heat never ends well with Ryder. Her legs most certainly stopped working. But we FINALLY made it after some tears and a lot of sweat. The girls and I rode the beautiful carousal and then the girls played in the fountains while mom and dad took a rest in the shade.

(Rory is practically a TEENAGER in these pics! wahhh!)

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The girls loved staying in hotels for a few nights. Only one night they slept decent though. We decided to do two double beds instead of a big king bed. I’m not entirely sure that was the best choice, but who knows. All I know is that it seemed like we did A WHOLE FREAKIN’ LOT of playing musical beds. We started off one way and woke up in totally different beds every night.

(Musical beds is a lot like musical chairs except there is no music and mommy ends up with no sleep.)

But, the girls were so cute snuggled together at the beginning of each night.

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Y’all. We had an amazing weekend.

I took some pictures and most of them are poor camera-phone quality.

And I don’t even care.

I enjoyed every second with my family (no for real- like every second) and the girls got to have their mom sans phone.

It is the best thing I’ve done for my girls and for myself

Sometimes you need to actually live your life instead of trying to make it fit into your camera. Am I right?!

a light-hearted post about how I feel about potty training. on opposite day.

Well. It seems as though I’m in the hellish place called potty training again.

And yes. That is exactly how I feel about it. Thankyouverymuch.

I’m not really sure why but it is some sort of sick joke that I get two kids who have NO INTEREST at all in the potty training business.

You don’t remember Rory and my trials with her?!

Let me remind you:

Reminder #1

Reminder #2

There are more, but I feel like two reminders about poop is enough for this hour.

So here I am, now with Ryder, tackling this horrid task called potty training.

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Or coaching labor.

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Ryder’s attitude on the situation is this:

Me: Ryder, ready to go potty in the big girl potty??? You are three now! You get to be a big girl and not wear diapers anymore!!!!!!! Isn’t this AWESOME?!!!!

(I MEAN, REALLY. I deserve an award for the amount of enthusiasm I muster up at 6:00am about poop.)

Ryder: Nope! I fine! I just don’t need nuffin’ but my diapers! I fine! I good! I not need princess panties!

Me (to myself, of course): %$#&*@&@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF THE WORDS! ALL OF THEM! ALLLLLLLL OF THE WORDDDDSSSSSSSSSS!

I even went as far as to create a POTTY FAIRY. What is my life coming to?!!!!!

The potty fairy (who by the way is an a-word because she brings the prizes but doesn’t stick around to do the WORK that is involved) brought lots of undies and M&M’s and books about how princesses poop in the potty too!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHE DOESN’T CARE!

Doesn’t even care that the poor potty fairy did so much work trying to prep us for the hell of this week.

Whatever, kids, whatever.

Go ahead. Be hard on me. Don’t move up in the big girl class. Don’t hesitate to stink up the whole house with your nasty 3 year old poop diapers.

GO FREAKING AHEAD.

I’m also naturally irrationally angry at Andrew.

I mean. I can’t even look at him right now.

There he goes. Off to work. While I’m already cleaning up the first pool of pee on my floor at 6:15am.

GO AHEAD TO WORK.

It is currently 7:42. I’ve been up since 5:15 with the children who will not sleep past that terrible hour of the day.

Ryder has peed once.

ONCE.

Hateful child.

(HA)

And let me just say one more thing…

WHO CAME UP WITH 2-3 BEING THE PERFECT AGE TO POTTY TRAIN A CHILD?

Everyone knows three year olds are THE WORST. And you want to throw potty training in with the mix of it?!

WHO CAME UP WITH THIS?! BECAUSE I AM FULLY PREPARED TO OVERNIGHT THEM RYDER’S FIRST POOP IN THE POTTY TO THEIR DOORSTEP!

And I don’t want to hear all of your crap (haha) about how I can make it easier on her. She has no idea I feel this way- hello that is why I have a blog- I am miss potty party girl up in this house.

I AM DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS.

I just happen to have heifer children who COULD CARE LESS if they crapped their pants for the rest of their life.

I’m  not being dramatic or anything here.

This is just how I feel about potty training.

AKA THE WORST PART OF PARENTING TODDLERS.

I must go now. The SUPER FUN POTTY TIMER has gone off on my phone and I must torture encourage Ryder to go potty now.

Donations to my coke, chocolate and possibly alcohol fund can be made at any point.

(KIDDING, MOM!)

Ryder’s 3rd Birthday Party

Ryder’s birthday isn’t until Tuesday, July 1st, but we had her party this past Saturday. Since we have a pool, it is a given that Ryder will always have a pool party. ha!

I had a whole lot of ideas and GRAND PLANS for this elaborately decorated party. Then I realized- you know what? I am stinkin’ tired. And kids don’t care if there is a large gazebo made of beach balls, floats, and kiddie pools. They really don’t.

So I decided that I’d throw a few decorations up and CALL IT A DAY. It is amazing what well planned snacks and a couple of clever signs will do for a party, too. I mean- could it have been any easier or simple?!

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I think I have found my new calling in life. I mean. LOOK AT THESE CUPCAKES. You can’t get better than that.

(side note: I couldn’t find my cupcake stand so Andy had to go buy a cheap one at WalMart… all they had was hello kitty. whatever, walmart. you failed me again.)

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okay. maybe you can. hahaha! I have laughed so dang hard over these teddy grahams!

thanks, pinterest!

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Ryder got kinda teased when we sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to her and it was cute to see her shy since that is not something that happens often.

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When all the guests arrived it was POURING. I was starting to panick because what in the world do you do with toddlers/kids if the pool party gets rained out?

And y’all know I don’t do planned activities, so I was getting a little nervous. But we had cake first thing and by the time we were done it was sunny and perfect for the pool.

Addison – Ryder’s little BFF

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Cute James- he had the funniest faces!

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My little water bug, Rory

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Ryder was in heaven. She kept saying after the party was over, “I love fwimmin’ with my fwriends, Mom! Let’s do that again!”

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We actually got a couple of decent group pictures. Miracle!

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Caden was the the youngest one there, but one of the bravest for sure.

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Kaleigh Grace was so brave- jumped right off that diving board for the first time!

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Here Ryder and Addison were saying to each other, “I love your bathing suit” “Oh but I like YOUR bathing suit!” Sweet friends.

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Now I’m going to show you a montage of photos of Ryder jumping in the pool. Because, y’all know that this child is NOT adventurous. She is very “I will let my sister do the crazy stuff and I will encourage and laugh and think she is awesome and crazy”. But suddenly, mere weeks after she declared her legs didn’t work so she couldn’t ever swim and DON’T YOU DARE GET MY FACE OR HAIR WET EVIL PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, she has decided she loves to jump off the steps, head first, into the water.

She jumps off the steps and literally sticks her butt in the air and her face down in the water and she shakes her head around in the water before she pops up grinning EAR TO EAR. It is so hilarious and astonishing.

Let me show you because I know y’all aren’t believing me right now.

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I mean. COME ON. Is the booty up in the air not the cutest and most hilarious thing you’ve ever seen in your life?!

This final montage of pictures is called “Ryder Is Precious When Opening Gifts”.

With pretty much every single gift, she did this “OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN” face and it was so precious I couldn’t hardly stand it.

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She had the most fun and I can’t wait to celebrate her more tomorrow.