Today was supposed to be my “free day”, but the weather had the nerve to be icy so therefore my children are at home.
I would like to say that I was one of those moms who was so excited that we had a snow/ice day but, nay, I am not. Maybe when they are in big school.
Now, as I have told you, I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather. It has not gotten any better, though I know it is just a head cold or something. Still, it is bumming me out.
Rory is REALLY into Disney’s newer show, Doc McStuffins, so when I told her I wasn’t feeling good she sprang into doctor action to take care of me. She said to me, “Okay, Mommy, you lay right here on this couch and close your eyes for a minute and then you feel all better.” And then she stared at me until I closed my eyes.
I was forced, people.
So, I may or may not have dosed off for a mere five minutes (seriously, no more although I wish it would have been!) when I start hearing Ryder saying, “Oh no. Ohhhhhh no. Oh no.” Ryder tends to say this when a mess of epic proportions is being made. Its both cute and terrifying.
So I spring up on the couch and go towards the “oh no’s”.
Which were, of course, coming from the bathroom.
Anyone want me to just stop here?
Well, too bad, I need all of you to be horrified as well.
I round the corner to find Rory attempting to wash out the little potty… and then I scan the bathroom and it was as if I could hear the Pyscho music “whiii whii whii” coming through my ears. (You know, the sound that is made when she gets stabbed in the shower? Anyone with me on this?)
There is poop…. everywhere.
Apparently Rory did the #2 in the little potty and then attempted to dump it into big potty. Well, she missed and then wanted to clean it up but then it just got EVERYWHERE and she decided to wash it out in the sink.
OH THE HORROR THAT IS MY LIFE.
It wasn’t even 8 o’clock in the morning and I was ANKLE DEEP IN CRAP, y’all.
So after hosing her off, giving them both baths, deep cleaning/sanitizing the bathroom, and a WHOLE LOT OF GAGGING that was finally over.
So the day went on and I was finally getting over all the poop. We played with red solo cups because I was desperate for something fun to entertain them that didn’t involve bodily functions. I really wanted to put something in there for myself to deal with the trauma of the whole morning ordeal, but alas, my cupboards are bare of any sort of adult beverage.
Although, there are some juice cups in the car that have probably fermented enough to help with that.
Well, I’m kidding about drinking it, there probably are some nasty cups in my mom car.
After all that fun was over, the girls were playing in their playroom.
Or so I thought.
All of a sudden I hear, “Momma! Come here! It is so bery cold out there!”.
But they are inside…
I find them in Rory’s room, on the bed, with THE WINDOW OPEN AND BOTH OF THEM LEANING OUT THE WINDOW.
My heart can’t handle much more shock and trauma.
I feel as though it will fail any day now.
At this point in the day I realized my children have a bad case of cabin fever and just want out of the house. Right? That is the only explanation I can come up with.
PS- Rory’s window is way, way up off the ground.
So, hope all of you are staying sane in this crazy weather.
I only wish you could transfer some of that sanity to me because…
MINE IS GONE, FOLKS.
I shall lie down now and let my heart take a rest before they wake up and cause more stress on it.