It has been a whole week since our last big “SAY WHAT?!” situation so OBVIOUSLY we were due for another.
Welcome to Because Why Not? : Puppy Edition.
On Monday morning we found this little surprise:
Yes. That is right. Eight puppies.
Apparently someone decided to dispose of them and I was the lucky sucker who got to deal with it.
Because why not?
Now let’s discuss some life lessons I learned in this fiasco:
1) I’ve always been a firm believer in more is more in the cuteness situations. More babies, more puppies, more teeny tiny cuteness = the better.
Then I had a two and a three year old, two dogs, and eight puppies.
MORE IS NOT MORE PEOPLE.
2) Toddlers and puppies, although cute together, DO NOT MIX.
The girls would SCREAM AND CRY AND STOMP AND OH-THE-DRAMA ALREADY until I let the puppies out for them to play.
Then the puppies, because duh- they are puppies, would jump up on the girls and OH-THE-DRAMA ALREADY once again. The girls would then scream and cry and stomp and weep and wail until I held them.
But then they wanted to pet them SO BADLY so I had to put them back down and…
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING HERE?! Toddlers and puppies just don’t mix.
3) Eight puppies produce A LOT of poop. Pretty sure anyone in a 10 mile radius can smell my front yard right now.
4) Eight puppies are as mischievous and embarrassment producing as my children.
Let me elaborate.
Yesterday I got home from work and let alllllllllllllllllllllll the puppies out to run and play and go to the bathroom.
Well, somehow the puppies got into a pack of straws (??? because why not?) and scattered them everywhere.
I was bending down picking them up and the puppies kept jumping up on me and biting my hair, shirt, nose, etc. (Keep in mind that my children are in the back of my car with the hatch up weeping and wailing and gnashing their teeth because they want both the puppies and the straws… because why not?) Well, I bent down and one puppy jumped up and ripped my shirt exposing the upper portion of yours truly (if you know what I mean) and then another jumped and ripped my necklace off all at the same time.
I may or may not have let out a little d word with two syllables. It was clearly not my finest moment, people.
Then I look up to see my neighbor (male, obviously, because why not?) standing there. And of course I had never met him before.
And let’s just say he saw much, much more of me than he ever could have wanted to.
I like to leave a lasting impression.
Because why not?
5) Lastly, I learned that with about 20 people on Facebook spreading the word, free puppies go FAST! Tonight I will drop off the very last puppy.
And then I will promptly do the Carlton and say “Thank you Jesus!” until I can’t possibly dance anymore.
Those stinkin’ puppies sure were cute, but sweet mercy I am glad that craziness is OVER. Thank you all so much for helping me find great new homes for the pups!
Happy No Mo’ Puppies Wednesday!