Well, potty training week is coming to an end. I know all of you are so devastated and are going to miss updates on all things pee pee and poop related, but take heart! I have another kid who will be potty trained next year!
Plus, have you met my child?! Remember this story?
I’m pretty sure I will have no shortage of crazy poop stories for all of you.
Speaking of poop!
Rory pooped on the potty at school yesterday!!!!! I received this text from her teacher:
Now there are a couple of things to note here:
1) Getting a text like this the first week of potty training is equivalent to winning an Oscar, I swear. I giggled, beamed, thanked all my fans, etc.
2) Then I realized…. THIS IS MY LIFE?!!!!!! I’m texting about poop???? AND I’M EXCITED ABOUT IT?!
Kids. They keep us humble.
Speaking of humbling situations…
Yesterday after school, I gave Rory $5 for pooping at school to spend on a prize at WalMart.
(I know most of you think this is excessive, but you have no idea how big of a deal this is. Rory got sick this year and threw up a couple of times and became irrationally afraid of pooping/toilets in the midst of it. Like she would scream like someone was murdering her if I made her try every time before this week. So she gets a prize for pooping at school. Period.)
Well, she chose a Kelly doll that had a bathing suit on to take on “the really big boat!” we are going on soon.
We are checking out when all of a sudden Rory’s eyes grew to the size of giant saucers and she begin pointing and SHOUTING at the top of her lungs, “LOOK! LOOK! IT’S JESUS, MOMMY, IT’S JEEEEESSSSUUUUUUUUUSSSS!”. She repeats this 230945 times.
At this point I cannot breathe and I don’t want to turn around because I have no idea what I’m going to find.
So, I slooooooowly turn around and see about 10 Amish/Mennonite people. All but one are women, so clearly the man is who Rory is talking about. He’s tall, has a long dark beard, and a top hat.
The women are pretty much literally on the floor laughing. They have tears streaming down their faces.
The man is smiling, and says to Rory, “Well, that’s a nice thing to be called Little Lady.”
And I almost died right there in the WalMarts from embarrassment.
Also, the cashier was a little old lady and she was laughing so hard she had to run to the bathroom in the middle of my transaction. So I had to stand there with Jesus and everyone else at Walmart who all heard and are laughing and wait until she came back before I could flee the premises.
The Mennonites (I’m assuming they weren’t Amish because they were at WalMart…) never stopped laughing. I mean, seriously, I thought they were going to hurt themselves.
I am, of course, laughing too. Because what else can I do?!
So I go to the car and we all get in and I sit down and I’m laughing to myself about life and how my child ALWAYS WANTS TO EMBARRASS ME. As I’m sitting there, and updating my facebook status so others can enjoy my horror, I look up and see the Mennonite crowd walking to their van and they are STILL LAUGHING their heads off.
It was, although horrifying, amazing.
I got to thinking about my Rory girl. She’s so hard. We fight like crazy over the silliest things with her. If you googled “strong willed”, you would see her image. HA! Seriously.
Never in my life have I ever laughed as much as I do now.
I might be mortified through the laughter, but that child has brought so much humor to my life. There is never a dull moment. I’m not kidding. Never ever a dull moment. She’s naturally hilarious, smart as a whip, and I truly believe God sent her to me so that even on the hardest of days I’d still be laughing my head off.
Laughter (and embarrassment) is always in abundance with this child and I will always be thankful for that.