hilarious adventures

a night in the life of Tiffany.

We are now going on four years of no sleep around these parts of the world, so I thought instead of a “day in the life” post I’d do a “night in the life post”.

Last night shenanigans ran high, so I’m going to just do a run through of how it all went down. And unfortunately, this is not uncommon in the least.

We had a t-ball game at six and then afterward went to eat at Pizza Hut with Andy’s parents. We got home at almost nine which is an hour my children very rarely see. I give them the quickest half-baths that have ever occurred and then they were in bed. Neither were actually asleep until almost TEN. TEN O’CLOCK. I can’t even handle this hour of the night with children.

By the time I finally got in my bedroom I could hardly crawl into bed I was so tired. But, how could I NOT watch my Tuesday night shows?! Andy was already out at this point so I decided I’d watch a show.

Except how do you watch a show when you can’t hear it?!

And why couldn’t I hear it?!



mmmmmhmmmmmm.

So not only do I have the children to thank, but also the husband for the bags under my eyes.

He is going to murder me.

Once I was finally able to go to sleep after all that craziness I was woken up the first time at 12:30 by Ryder.

Ryder: MOMMA! MOMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MY ‘JAMAS ARE ITCHIN’ ME! ITCHIN’!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN’T SLEEP!!!!!! MAMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

So I go in there and tell her to stop yelling and change her itchy pjs because Ryder is the easiest child to rationalize with unless it comes to her itchiness or being too hot. Then its just a free for all on the yelling and weeping and gnashing of teeth.

I get back to sleep and at 2:15 I wake up with a child very creepily staring at me and blowing in my face.

Because that’s a completely normal way to try and wake someone up.

I jumped and scared her because she scared me and then we laughed for a good ten minutes. I put Rory back into her bed and tell her to not get out again.

Then at 3 I hear a little heifer sneaking into my bed via Andy’s side because she is smart so once again I pick Rory up and take her back to her bed.

3:25 brings more yelling for Ryder because I guess she assumes I can’t hear her unless she screams at the top of her lungs.

Ryder: MOOOOMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MOMMA MOMMA MOMMAAAAA! I IS FIRSTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED SOME WATERRRRRRRRR MOMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I CAN’T BREATHE I’M TOO FIRSTY I CAN’T BREATHE!!!!!!!!!

She isn’t dramatic or anything.

3:45 here comes Rory again trying to sneak in on Andy’s side of the bed. Because she is smart.

4:30 same thing.

4:58 same thing except this time I just let her get in the dang bed because I can’t even handle life at this point.

5:30 alarm goes off.

Andy has officially never woken up during all these shenanigans.

5:50 I actually get out of the bed while cursing the day they were all born.

6:15 everyone is up for the day.

6:30 ready to weep because I feel like I’ve already run 20392 marathons.

7:30ish drop kids off at school.

7:40 get back in my car and bask in the silence before driving on to work.

So there you have it. A typical night in the life of Tiffany.

One day they will go to college and I will sleep until I have caught up on all the sleep I missed out on.

Poor Andy.

But I feel as if I can deal with his snoring he will be able to deal with my deciding to not ever wake up when they are gone. Ha!

Happy Wednesday!

 

(PS, Andy does help me some at night- this is a funny post I am not knocking him. He needs sleep more than me probably. I can still thrive on so little.)

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3 thoughts on “a night in the life of Tiffany.

  1. Fantastically Funny! I remember these days oh so well. 🙂 Sounds like you are doing a great job, because as long as you keep your sense of humor, you are way ahead of the game! 🙂 All the best moms have the greatest senses of humor. Best of luck surviving the early years.

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